Mixed Day

I made my first call to my IVF nurse today. Before I explain, if you are a "normal" person who hasn't dealt with IF, IF girls will sound a little irrational to you and sometimes even psycho. I say that in the nicest way. By psycho I mean, over-over analyzing everything. So, since my BFP, I've noticed that I have a sensitivity on my left ovary. If I stretch too tall I feel it. If I suck-in my stomach I feel it. If I push on the spot, I feel nothing. I've pretty much given myself this fear that I could have an ectopic pregnancy (tubal). Why? Because I think I feel a sensitivity on the left side, only when I suck-in. So, I called the IVF nurse and told her what I'm feeling. I also come right out and tell her that I've had ectopic pregnancy on the brain. I also asked her if ectopics happen with IVF. I mean, I literally saw my doctor shoot those embies and he said "perfect place to land". The landing spot was not a tube. I also asked her if all of those IVF drugs are still in my system and possibly if that's why I feel a sensitivity.

So, she says that ectopic does happen with IVF, but it's not very common. She said that I should worry if I'm in pain or I can't use the bathroom normally. Mind you, I'm peeing almost every hour and I have no pain, so I'm squared away there. She also said that I'm going to feel a lot of odd things as my body is changin, but my ultrasound on Monday is to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. Sounds great right? Not. So. Much. I was literally hoping she would just tell me that everything would be great, worrying is normal, and I'm in the clear. I'm very aware that this is not her job. I'm also aware that telling someone all of those things can give a person false hope, but I was still actually looking for it. After thinking about my situation more, I did have a little relief. Right after my IVF, I had pain on my left side. In fact, when I woke up from the procedure, I immediately asked for some pain killer because of it. So, it kinda makes sense that it could be the exact same spot that gave me trouble. So, that was my worry for today. Sometimes I feel much better writing it out in my blog. Also, I know I have girls following my blog that are doing IVF, and I want them to know that these feelings are totally normal. Speaking of normal, there is a Pregnant After Infertility board on the site I go on. I don't post on PAIF, but I always read the advice. Well, tonight I ventured over there to see if anyone was dealing with the same worries I'm having. BINGO. I immediately see a post similar to my concerns. Not about my specific worry, but a girl was explaining that she can't believe she can't be happy about her pregnancy because worry has taken over. After her post, about ten girls commented saying that they too are worrying all of the time. Some of those commenters are 36 weeks along. I was glad to come across this post. It let me see that my worries are rather normal and more than likely, for no reason. Now, on to a happier topic! I was in a class today with a bunch of teachers in my district. All of a sudden, we start talking about our insurance. One teacher said that our insurance sucks because we have no infertility coverage. My ears perked up right away! I couldn't believe that I was sitting a room with someone who dealt with IF! I know it exists, but this was nice and close to home. As if it couldn't get any better, THREE other girls (YES THREE) started agreeing. One said she's on Clomid and has to pay for it. Other girls said they had no coverage when they had their babies. IF is so common, but not talked about much. Well, I didn't chime in for several reasons, one being that some of my close coworkers were there and I'm obviously not announcing. I did get to chime in though and tell them to start spreading that word about our lack of IF coverage. If it's a popular concern, we can try to negotiate for some coverage on our next contract. It was an exiting moment for all of us. Although, I think one of the girls is onto me! She is pregnant and wearing a Be Band. I've also been wearing a Be Band due to the bloat. Well, I saw her scope my Be Band out! Oh well, I have other things to worry about ;) If you are still reading, you deserve a cookie!