August 27, 2013

FFS and Holy Shit

FFS- For Fuck's Sake


Again dear reader, I know you have not pegged me as a teacher of little children, but I promise you that the "teacher me" is much more professional  than the "infertility" me.

For Fuck's sake- My RE's office called today and cancelled my next item on my list before I can do my FET. Apparently the scheduler "forgot" it was a holiday weekend and they cannot do my HSN (water procedure) because there is no ultrasound tech to read the results on duty. Mother of crap. The more we push this out, the more screwed up this gets! I wanted a June baby for school reasons and now I'm possibly in the July baby area. I know, I know, "normal people don't get to choose their due dates" (insert 'know it all voice'). Yea, well I'm not normal in any way, shape or form. And as I've stated before, I feel that us IF girls can at least pick our own due date since we've literally been screwed in so many other ways.

Now, holy shit. (OK, I'm not very religious so I hope that isn't offensive). . . Holy shit. . . . taking 13 vitamins a day is kicking my ass. I'm so very good at following directions and taking pills but man, I'm really cramming them down. I'm also carrying around one of those days of the week pill holders, which is making me luck much older than 35.

Speaking of 35, is is just me or am I literally getting older by the minute as I'm waiting for the HSN to be scheduled? I better call those bitches and reschedule tomorrow!!! ;)

FFS!

August 23, 2013

FET Day 1. . Whoot Whoot!

Don't take that title the wrong way! Baby BiPolar Disorder is for sure in effect.

So, today I started on my birth control pills to suppress the system. In one week I will go in for my HSN (which is all scheduled).

Today's update on number to transfer. . . . No update. the Baby BiPolar Disorder is taking over. Now I have a complete FEAR of twins as Miss B was driving me nuts today! LOL I mean, she's two and sooooo hard-headed (like mommy and daddy). I think she made it her mission to argue with me all day and she's only two. So, add two more kids to that mix and I'd be three sheets to the wind right now. So today's decision. . . transfer one. This can change by the hour.

Ok so holy crap. . . I went to my doctor's office the other day for blookwork (just 5 viles, no big deal) and he had a list posted of "required supplements." Yes, required. $75 later, and I'm taking like 13 pills a day. Mind you, I'm very, very good with taking pills, but these bad-boys are taking me all day to get down.

Here's the details:

Pregnitude: A supplment for egg quality. Now, my quality does not matter for a frozen transfer, but it was on his list. I bought mine on Walgreens online. $35 You take it twice a day.

Calcium: 1200 mg a day. I also bought at Walgreens.

D3: Sometimes comes with the calcium, but he specifically wanted us on about 400mg and the D3 that comes with Calcium is normally more than that. Also bought at Walgreens.

CoQ10: Bought on Amazon.  600 mg

Prescription Prenatal plus DHA

Then I'm on the following for my own protocol from the doctor:

*Ortho Novum birth control
*81 mg of aspirin
* Two doses of antibiotics per day (internal infection)

As you can see, I'm drinking pill down all day long!

August 20, 2013

THIS IS IT!!!!!

This is it folks! Tomorrow officially starts my frozen embryo cycle! Tomorrow I will call the doctor's office to begin my birth control pills (weird huh?) and schedule my HSN water test. Three weeks of the pill, three weeks of estrogen, then the big transfer and those damn ass shots!!!!

On a great note, all my bloodwork and hormone levels came back today and all of them were totally normal.

This is happening, holy crap!

XOXO

August 18, 2013

The FET Train is Arriving

Ok, life has been a little boring the past week. This week should pick up the pace though. Yesterday I got a list of things that need to be done before my FET. The list was MUCH longer than I anticipated! Gulp.

*Pap test, pelvic exam and breast exam (check!)

*Prolactin testing

*Blood testing for T4 and TSH (no clue but we'll leave it to the professionals)

*3 Day HSN (water shooting into your tubes to make sure all is good. Kinda like an HSG)

*Nurse consultation for meds

* Infectious disease testing


Um, okay! Cycle day one should be here this week and I need to get all of this done in the next two weeks.

The question still looms. . . transfer one or two embryos? I do have two friends who are pushing me to transfer two due to the odds game. Now, after 6 years of marriage I know how to bring things up to MR. LTM. We discuss last minute. The more time he has, the more he over thinks things!

On Friday night we came close to buying a new house! We just started looking and found something that was amazing. It looked like there would be a bidding war for it, so we decided to move on and keep looking. We certainly can't put twins in this small house!

I know, I shouldn't joke ;)


August 8, 2013

BBPD #2

A long, long time ago I talked about Baby BiPolar Disorder. It's not a real medical term, but Heather and I made it up. If you go back to my 2010 posts, there should be one called "The Baby BiPolar Way of Thinking." There I give a very detailed account of what it means. In short, it's when you have two different views of kids. One day you want them and the next day you don't. For infertiles it coincides with ovulation days and negative pregnancy tests. I had it bad and so did many others.

Now I have BBPD #2. This is the same thing as Baby BiPolar Disorder but applies only to the situation in which you are trying for child #2. Now, this is one is a little different and I don't think it hits as hard. BBPD #2 starts when you and your husband decide, "Yes! We want another baby!" The next day you visit the local Target and see a mom of two. She kinda looks like she's been hit by a Mack truck. She's got a baby carrier in the top seat and a toddler eating an open box of cereal in the basket of the cart. Said mom is pulling her groceries in a wagon because her cart now has no room for products. This is where BBPD #2 kicks in. "Do I really need another child?" Every couple goes through this. Now, the infertiles go through this a little differently. We feel that we have to get down on our knees and bow to the world. We have to first say how thankful we are for baby number one. We feel like we OWE the world everything. Some of us feel guilty when we accept the fact that we may want another child. It's almost like we are telling everyone that we are not happy enough with one child, we now selfishly want another one. Pretty screwed, isn't it? Totally sucks. Then add in the element of waking up each day and telling yourself, "I can be happy with one child if I have to. I'm lucky enough to have one child." Lucky enough? Pretty sad, huh?

Anywho- that's BBPD #2. It doesn't haunt me everyday, but I'm sure it will once I start those drugs in two weeks. I'm sure it's a branch of the IF Devil.


August 6, 2013

The Twin Conversation

Yesterday I was really tight on time when I was writing my blog. I didn't really get all of my ideas out so I thought I'd come back and finish.

As you can imagine, this dilemma of transferring one or two is quite the dilemma. Though we imagine ourselves as a family of four, we would certainly welcome an extra addition of that was what is in store for us. The thing is, those of us girls who have spent a lot of time on infertility forums really know how risky a twin pregnancy can be. We have watched too many of our internet friends experience rough twin pregnancies, some of which don't end the way they should. This is actually what frightens me. I'm not sure if this is at common as it seems, or it just seems more common because I've exposed myself to more people by being online. Either way, I'm frightened of that.

Because I'm such a researcher (another flaw), I was Googling "twins and FET" last night. I did find that most other countries really encourage their IVF/FET patients to transfer only embryo. Europe especially is making patients more aware of the risk of carrying multiples. I know, I know, I think too much. Either way, at least my decision will be very informed!

On the cycle front, I talked with the billing department at my RE's office today. I need to keep them on track and make sure they get every procedure is preauthorized so it is covered as it should be. Speaking of, I cannot be any more thankful for the insurance coverage that we have. I know there are many, many couples who have no coverage. Wait, for a minute you thought that my coverage for infertility was because I am a teacher, right? Big. Fat. No. In fact, they won't even cover any blood work. Nice huh? Luckily Mr. LTM's job covers everything for us. We are indeed very, very lucky.

Ok Miss B is running all over, but I still need to post on BBP#2 (Baby BiPolar #2).

August 5, 2013

And the Journey Begins. . . Again!

Well, I'm back from my RE consultation and this is going to move quickly! We are in the process of getting all tests and labs done to complete a Frozen Embryo Transfer in September or the beginning of October. If all goes well (we'll take your positive thoughts!) will will be a family of 4 (um, or 5) in less than a year!

Here is the deal. . . we have two frozen embryos. Both of good grades but one a little better than the other. If they both make the thaw, we can transfer one and have a 30% chance of success (higher than a  standard cycle for folks not using infertility treatments). Now, if we transfer both of those, our chance of success is 70% with a 20-25% chance for twins. SHIT.

Mr. LTM and I both know we don't want twins. Nothing against twins, love them dearly and just adore them. But we kinda see our future as a family of four, not five. Hear me? Now, because of those great success chances, transferring two is not off of the table. We may be looking at a game day decision. In other words, see how our embryos thaw and decide from there!

Until then, I have an appointment for a pap next week. Then I will be put on birth control pills at the start of my next cycle. I will get an HSN (like an HSG but with water) and then have some cervical cells tested. If all goes well, my cycle will start around 6 weeks after my next period starts, which is in about 19 days. E to the EEEEEK.

Drugs are involved here. Looks like some Lupron (which made me bat shit crazy during IVF) and then weeks of progesterone in oil. Son of a bitch!!!!! I didn't have to do PIO with my IVF, but apparently it's necessary for FETs at my office. So, I'll be sticking the longest needle EVER in my ass for like 12 or more weeks. It's ok, all worth it! Now, do I fatten my ass to make the PIO less painful or is a skinnier ass better?

So, you'll be joining me the next few weeks as the infertility devil visits, as Mr. Later Than Most and I decide on transferring one or two, and you'll listen to me complain (with a smile) about the ass shots.

Looking forward to the journey!

XOXOXO

August 2, 2013

T-Minus 3 Days

The infertility train is almost here. Three more days until our consultation for a Frozen Embryo Transfer. I have a feeling this is all going to move very fast, and I'm prepared!

I tried to come up with a list of questions for our RE, but I couldn't really come up with too many. I do know that our two frozen embryos are frozen together so they would be thawed together. I know we will only want to transfer one, so I'm wondering if that other one will be worth refreezing. I need to ask about that. Other than that, I'm just curious how fast this can all happen. Why the rush? The sooner this happens, the closer a potential birth could be to the end of the school year! That means no time off from teaching, but the entire summer with a new bundle of joy. My IF Devil tells me that this is a lot of planning and hoping for something that may not happen. Why is she always haunting me? I've participated enough in her negativity, this time I'm trying to be positive. Well, trying.

Do you remember my early pregnancy days with Miss B and how I wanted a Paris themed nursery? Then all of a sudden it turned rodeo? Well, I'm changing Miss B's room to a "big girl" room (toddler bed) and I plan to incorporate some Paris in there!

We are also in the process of putting our house on the market. With or without an expanding family, this 960 sq. feet is slowly killing us. So needless to say, this is a busy time!

Did I forget to mention my RE appointment in only three more days?