Damn Posts

Just when I post something positive. . . more bleeding today. And it comes at the most unexpected time and just when I'm getting confident. Yesterday I was feeling great. I hadn't had any bleeding in two full weeks. The doctor said the bleed is much smaller and all is good. Well, today I'm all good and running off to a bridal shower when, ta dah! Red blood. I was so surprised that I couldn't even think. I truly said aloud, "You've gotta be kidding me." I mean, really? Right when we are on top of the world. I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything but how could a person not spend a ton of time thinking about it?

Then, at this bridal shower today, my friend just goes on and on about how hard it is to be 38 weeks pregnant. Blah blah she has to pee all the time and eat all the time. You know, I realize that being 38 weeks pregnant must suck, but life can be so much worse. Don't think for two seconds I let her off the hook. Oh no, no, no. I will forever have the infertile mind. I made sure to tell her to be thankful she could walk. Be thankful she has a full term baby and I told her about girls who do over 100 days of bed rest just to keep their kids alive. I know, I know. . . what a downer. But it's reality, and it shut her negative ass up real quick. I hope I'm in her position some day.

So, tomorrow is the third full day of school and I won't be going. Luckily I have the best sub in the world and a very understanding principal. Taking time off already is very hard for me, but I know that resting is so important. My doctor had said 72 hours for every red bleed, but I'm not sure if I can do that this early in the year. That's one thing that teaching does to you. . . it gives you guilt.

Well, that's my update. I'll be in bed from now until at least Tuesday morning.