July 19, 2013


Tomorrow is a big day! I'm going to a baby shower and I just realized that I'm not bitter at all! WOW! I've really come a long way!

Going back through old posts you may have noticed my favorite baby shower game. Yea, it's the one where you get the invite in the mail and time yourself. "Let's see how long it takes me to open this invite, go online, purchase a gift and have it sent." Eight minutes is my record for anyone who remembers. Yes, baby showers SUCK THE BIG ONE for those who are infertile. Tiny cute little things. So much belly rubbing. So much, "ZOMG, I can't wait to have a babeeeeeee." "Totes yea me too, I got preggers in like three secs with my first." Seriously. Shoot me now.

I don't know. Am I not even an Infertility Jerk anymore? Is the devil gone? I feel great about this shower tomorrow. The only negative thing is I don't know which pants to wear. Other than that, I feel like a million bucks. Part of me thinks it's because I have that appointment at the RE on August 5. Another part of me thinks that the pain is much less worse when you already have one child to be greatful for. Either way, it's a mind screw. All I know is I feel like a million bucks. BRING ON THE ONESIES!

July 11, 2013

Ok, You are All Still Reading

You people are still reading my blog! I go to check the stats once in a while and my blog had 35 hits just yesterday. That is a shit-ton of pressure people. But you are lucky, I do have some crap to say.

Well first, let me just say that I've been going back through my blog and reading some of the posts. Holy crap, I'm rather funny. I mean, I even had myself laughing and my own writing. That's when you know you are either an idiot or your own biggest fan. I'm going to go with an idiot.

So here is what happened today. I'm innocently driving to a friends house with Miss B in the back seat. She is WAYYYYYY into music. It's scary. She knows the lyrics to an entire Taylor Swift song. So after her solo about a girl meeting a boy at the alter and running away, Katy Perry's "Firework" came on. I may or may not have mentioned this is previous posts, but that song reminds me of my pregnancy. I always felt that the baby was a "firework" and was going to show us all what it was "worth." Anyway, then Miss B learned to sing the "Ahhh. Ahhh. Ahhh." part and it was just very timely. So today the song comes on and Miss B is just drinking in her sippy. All of the sudden I get all teary-eyed. All of those damn emotions of infertility came storming back to me. That song made me remember the pregnancy that I actually never though I would get. It's so WEIRD. You know how you smell a perfume or certain candle and it reminds you of a specific event, well this song does that for me. It's so weird. Then I started realizing that those feelings just don't go away. I think I've always known this and my other IF friends say the same thing, but it really is true. Horrible experiences just stick with you. I guess we all knew that the hostility was still there when I wrote that recent post called, "Infertility Jerks." Oh yes, if you missed that one, you really missed out. The other good post of attitude is called something like, "Don't be an A-hole."

July 10, 2013

13 Reasons I need Baby Number 2

1. I have this amazing Chicago Bear's maternity shirt that says, "We are Bears Fans!

2. Brooklyn has asked me where her brother is. "Um honey, you don't have a brother, remember? Just a dog."

3. I'll need some info to keep this blog going.

4. My MFM told me that I had the perfect torso to carry multiples. Now, is it just me or does that mean it's an uber perfect torso for a singleton?

5. I bought an Ergo in Galaxy Gray that really needs some more use to get my $120 worth.

6. A second baby just shouts "Screw you infertility! I did it and I will do it again!"

7. Embryo storage has been costing $500 a year. We wouldn't want that to go to waste, now would we?

8. I already know that my favorite brand of diaper is Parents-Choice. I really need to just try to use those from birth and see if I like them as much as I think I do.

9. A second baby would allow me to contemplate cloth diapering. Screw number 8.

10. I'm wondering if the second baby will fall out like the first one did. (see birth story from April 2011)

11.  Will the second child be as cute as the first? Let's find out!

12. I can truly use a 9 month break from wine.

13. Aden and Anais. Enough said.

July 9, 2013

Road to Mommyhood- Take 2

Be warned. . . my infertility devil is back.

Now that you know that, you'll know that I announce news with minor excitement. Mr. LTM and I are scheduled to see our RE on August 5 to discuss a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). In regular people terms. . . baby number two! Yes, yes, you are excited right? I am too, but that damn IF devil is already screwing with my mind.

Let me be the first to say that I'm already less consumed and stressed this time around. Having one child already does make the journey easier. The first time around there is a ton of pressure and what-ifs. What if I never have a child? What if IVF doesn't work? What if I never get to experience pregnancy? This time around I'm taking it easy. . . no Google, no chat forums, no website stalking.

I won't really know too much about an FET cycle until my consultation appointment on August 5! I'm excited to see what my doctor suggests and more excited to see how quickly we can get this ball rolling! I mean, I am 35 already! Well, those eggs are from when I was 32, so you do the math. Am I a high-risk geriatric mom at the age of the 35, or will I just be a 35 year old carrying 32 year old eggs? Totes confusing!

July 2, 2013

I've Been a Little Busy!

I hate when I get busy and can't post to my blog. I have one of those personalities where I feel like there is a deadline for blogging and if I get to far away, then I shouldn't blog anymore. I know, weird right?

Since my last blog I had to finish up the end of my school year for teaching. Then I finished several graduate classes and completed the homework. Right after that, Brooklyn and I went to Disney World with family. We had a great time seeing the sites and driving all over Florida. We even went to Siesta Key Beach on the Gulf Coast and were able to enjoy the beautiful white beaches. Momma always needs a white sand beach break (with two sangrias.)

As for this summer, Brooklyn and I are spending some time visiting friends and hanging out with family. It's great to spend time as a SAH mommy but also still work the rest of the year. I'm sure many people would love to stay at home full-time, but I do know that it is not for me, and that's okay.

It's amazing that I can still see how many people follow this blog. It's quite a bit. I can also see which posts of mine are being read on which days. Many times my most read posts are ones that had to do with my IVF cycle or the posts following. I know this means that others are reading my experience and hopefully connecting to their own life. I'm glad that my blog is interesting or helpful to someone out there!

Well, if you are a regular reader, I can promise you some exciting news in the next few days. No, I'm not pregnant. Did a pig fly past your window or something? But the news is fun!