July 21, 2014

PP Rubbish, Mr. LTM, and She's 10 Days, and More Kids

How's that for a title? I figured if I put everything in the title, I'd be able to remember what in the world I wanted to write about.

Post Partum Rubbish:
Hormones suck the big one. Actually I'm feeling much better today at 10 days PP than even just a few days ago. Adjusting to a new routine is hard for anyone. Like when Miss B was born, it's hard to get the regular stuff done in a day. Paying bills, laundry and keeping up the house is a challenge. Everyone says to let the chores go and enjoy the time, but it's hard to enjoy my couch with little b when the living room is a disaster. Each day I'm trying to keep things cleaned up to a minimum, just to where I'm comfortable. That helps prevent meltdowns... on my part. Not Miss B or Little b.

Night time anxiety was an issue when I had Miss B. I remember being paranoid every night. I wondered when I would sleep and how the night would go. I have that this time again. The only weird thing is I have that but I'm sleeping all night. Mr. LTM takes care of Little b, so you'd think I have nothing to worry about. So random.

Mr. LTM:
Where did I find this guy? Well, the real answer is Target, but seriously. He's truly holding the house together. He does all of the night feedings while I get sleep until I'm back to 100%. Now, yes that's amazing of him, but while he sleeps during the day, I have Miss B and Little b to take care of. Not an easy challenge! Either way, it keeps the night anxiety to a minimum.

So the other day I ran to the grocery store. I come back and Mr. LTM has both kids napping, he did the dishes and he's in the shower. WTF???? I sometimes can't get dressed with the two of them. One is crying and the other one getting into trouble! How in the heck does he do it? I will say that while he's not working his thinking is more clear and he acts like the MR. LTM I met 17 years ago at Target. I hate his current job. I wish he'd switch to something he liked so he wasn't always stressed out. It's been so nice hanging out every day.

She's 10 Days:

So 10 days old already! Little b is already more aware. She's jumps to the sound of our voices and looks for us when she hears us. She also seems to really enjoy books already. Miss B was the same exact way. Yesterday she had a hold of her paci and was waving it all about. I noticed she is looking at my mouth when I'm talking too. I completely remember Miss B doing the same thing.

We call Little b "dino baby." She eats so much and so often. We feel like she makes dinosaur noises so the name fits. I'm dying to buy her the Aden and Anais dinosaur blanket but it looks like it's more for boys. We feed Dino baby about every two hours and she's up to 3oz of formula on a regular basis. This kid will be 14lbs by Christmas. Miss B is over three years old and barely weighs 30. They are already so different.

Miss B is a good big sister. She's definitely trying to adjust to her new life. There has been lots of talking back and acting out. We've been using a positive behavior system with her and that seems to help. In two days we are taking Little b to our babysitter so we can spend the day with Miss B. She's really into dinosaurs lately so we are thinking of going to either the Field Museum or the beach. She's also very into shells and sand so either one will be a winner. I'm excited to spend the day together. It's funny that we could have all went to the museum or beach a few weeks ago and didn't have to worry about a newborn and what we would do with her.

More Kids:

Mr. LTM is nuts and has mentioned more kids once or twice already. We don't have any more frozen embryos left so that idea is out. I did keep myself on Mr. LTM insurance just incase we needed the infertility coverage. The coverage has changed but because we are on the plan still, we are supposed to be grandfathered-in. That means we'd have two full IVF cycles left if we were interested. I don't know, I'm 36. I'm getting up there. I know age isn't everything but I feel like we already had our kids kind of late. In addition, we are living in a two bedroom house which I am not appreciating right now. Everything seems so small with two kids and all of their crap laying around. I'm sure Mr. LTM is on a newborn high, so we'll see if he changes his mind. I think he will.

Dino baby awaits again! She just ate an hour ago and is ready to eat again. Oh my!

July 15, 2014

Brielle's Birth Story

First I cannot believe that my pregnancy is over and done with. The beginning went by slow and then it really picked up. I'm glad I had a few weeks off of work to enjoy Brooklyn and enjoy my pregnancy. I'm getting up there in age, so we are very sure there are no more kids in our future. And, let's not forget the fact that we have no more frozen babies. Holy shit, I have a frozen baby in real life. It's kinda strange!

My induction was scheduled for Thursday night and Thursday was not easy. I felt like I was just sitting around all day waiting for it. I was very nervous and apprehensive. I felt guilty for scheduling an induction and not waiting until I went into labor on my own. I began to feel bad for Brooklyn, knowing that changes that were ahead for her. Pretty much I was just a hormonal mess. I kept hoping my Braxton Hicks would turn real and I would miss my induction like I did with Brooklyn, but I didn't.

At 7:00pm on Thursday I called Labor and Delivery to confirm my appointment. The charge nurse said to head on over as it was rather slow. We said good bye to Miss B and left her with my mom. The whole drive there was so weird. It's weird knowing that your whole life is about to change.

When we arrived at the hospital I made Mr. Later Than Most take one last pregnant picture of me and all of our bags. We went up to Labor and Delivery, checked in and got settled in our room. We were rather sure it was the same room I delivered Miss B in. Right away I got changed and the nurse came in to check me and see where I was. My OB does not perform internal checks, so I had not idea if I was even effaced or ready for birth. We were extremely surprised to find that I was already dilated to 4cm and that I was contracting on my own! I never really felt anything!

My OB suggested that I get my epidural sooner than later. He figured it may go fast since I was already at 4cm. I agreed with that and we had the epidural before starting the Pitocin. Unlike my last birth, this time they would not allow my husband to be in the room for the epidural. Also, my last epidural did not hurt, but this one really did. The anesthesiologist actually had to complete the process twice as she could not get in a good enough spot the first time. Lucky for me, I got to feel the needle go in two times instead of one! I remember wincing out loud both times and wishing that the process was almost over. I did not remember feeling any pain with the first pregnancy, but holy crap that thing hurt! Finally, the catheter was in and I began to slowly feel the effects. Though I've had an epi before, I began to worry a little about the after effects and if it was going to work right. When I had Miss B my epi wore off quickly and I was in so much pain. It was non-stop crying for hours.

This epi seemed to go well. Once I felt good, they began the Pitocin in increments of 2. Slowly my contractions started to pick up and space out evenly. I had little to no pain at all. Each half hour they kicked up the Pitocin and checked to see if I had made any progress.  After a while, it became apparent that I was a bit of a mystery. Apparently my cervix was dilating unevenly. So the top inside part was dilated more than the bottom. At one point they were calling me a 7/5. 7cm at the top and 5 at the bottom. My regular nurse had another nurse come in around 11pm to make me and make sure that I was dilating the way she thought I was. Sure enough, nurse number two is also surprised that she too will have to record two different numbers for how dilated I am. At this point they decide to call the doctor and see what he had to say. It was now midnight and the nurses felt like I could be stalling a bit. The nurse said that things would go quickly if my water broke, but the doctor was not going to break my water. He didn't want to rush things.

Around 1am they kicked the Pitocin up a bit and had me change into a bunch of different positions. One position they referred to as the "Texas" something. I slept like that for over an hour and a half and luckily, it seemed to work.  When the nurse came in she said everything was looking great, but baby was floating all around in amniotic fluid and had dropped. As she finished her check, my water broke. No more floating baby! They called the doctor to report that I was now effaced fully (and evenly) and that baby would be on her way soon. It was about 4am when that call was made.

Mr. LTM and I started to get excited that it was almost delivery time. Not too long after the nurse came running in and stopped the Pitocin. She said that baby's heart rate showed that delivery was very, very close but the doctor wasn't here yet. In case you don't know my birth story from Miss B, the doctor missed her birth. The nurse taught me how to push and Miss B would not stop her entrance into the world. She was delivered by about 8 nurses after only three pushes.  The doctor came in about three minutes after Miss B was born.  They didn't want this to occur again, so the Pitocin was stoppted until my doctor showed.

Around 5am my fav OB came strolling in with a big smile on his face. This guy is the best. He was actually not working the night of my induction or delivery, but the nurse said he "specialed" himself in for my delivery. I felt special when she said that doctors only do this for patients they really liked. :)

After a check by the OB, they kicked the Pitocin back up so I could have some regular contractions to push baby out. We waited and waited. With Miss B I felt no pressure to push. This nurse was aware of that and kept explaining what I should be feeling. "You'll feel like you have to poop." That's all she kept telling me so that feeling should be rather clear. Um yea, never felt sensation with either birth.

Around 6:30am I FINALLY called the nurse to tell her that I felt something. Not like I had to poop but just pressure in general. The doctor returned with an extra nurse and they had me start pushing. I pushed through two contractions and they had me stop. At this point there was for sure some pain. I could tell that baby was crowning because that feeling cannot be mistaken. Kind of a burn mixed with pressure. While I was laying there with a baby sticking partly out of me, the doctors and nurses began getting everything ready and turning all of the lights on. At one point they giggled because I asked if this was really going down right now. I couldn't help it! Everyone got so serious. In my mind I figured I was giving it my all on the next set of pushes and this baby was going to come out.

After one more contraction and pushing, my little Brielle Elizabeth entered the world. No cries right away. I could hear the doctor tell Mr. LTM that the cord was around her neck but nothing to worry about. They suctioned and suctioned her. I remember the doctor talking to Brielle and telling her that he saw her swallow a bunch of fluid and that she needed to try to get that up. Mr. LTM kept asking if she was okay, but the doctor was so busy suctioning her that he really didn't answer. I did begin to worry. I kept asking the nurse if she was ok and she just answered, "yea." I was kinda hoping for a "oh don't worry, she's good!" or a "She's excellent." None of that. My worrying continued for what felt like eternity but was probably only another minute. Brielle started screaming and they handed her right to me for some skin to skin. I remember thinking how cute and little she was. I was sure she was a 6lb'er.

I know skin-to-skin is amazing, but holy shit, I didn't enjoy that experience. I mean, they gave her to me bloody and she's screaming the entire time.  Then, I'm delivering the placenta while she is still screaming on me. Then, she's still screaming as they were stitching me up. It was very overwhelming. I didn't want to seem like a horrible person, so I just held her the entire time while she continued to scream. In hindsight, I'm just glad she was screaming after the scare we had.

After about an hour of skin-to-skin, they took Brielle over to be weighed. At 40 weeks and 2 days, Brielle was born weighing 7lb 13oz and 19.5 inches long. My little cutie received 9s on both of her APGARS.

Overall, this was a great birth. The induction process went as smooth as it possibly could. I'm thankful to have another beautiful girl on my hands.

July 14, 2014

Birth Story in Progress

I've been working hard at typing up Brielle's birth story, but it really is taking a long time. I'm about 1/3 of the way done. After typing for about 45 minutes I'll get an interruption and then not really feel like going back to it.

We are all adjusting to being a family of three. The first two days were easy with Brielle. She slept a lot and ate little. Starting last night though, she's showing her true colors and acting like a newborn. She's eating very often and today she was even awake for 2 1/2 hours straight. I told her to throw me a bone and sleep a little longer. Momma was tired.

I decided not to breastfeed this time and am fine with that decision. Last time was an absolute nightmare that pretty much caused be to become depressed. The stigma around formula feeding sucks. The hospital had no literature on formula feeding and only on breast feeding. We had no clue how much to even feed her at the hospital. And what pissed me off the most is when they would say, "Are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding?" No dumb asses, it's breastfeeding or formula feeding. Each time I'd answer with "formula feeding" and they'd get a little annoyed. The Lactation Consultant pissed Mr. LTM off. We told her we didn't need any assistance and she asked "why not?" Um, we said we didn't need help. And funny enough, I was actually nursing Brielle at the time. We wanted to make sure she got some colostrum at the hospital.

Miss B is adjusting. I feel bad for her a lot. She's acting out at us as part of her adjustment but she's very loving to her sister. It's hard to watch her get into trouble when we know that she knows better. Hopefully her new behaviors are short-lived. Overall though, it's been three days, so I think we are all on the right track.

Well, since it's almost 10pm I must head to sleep. Mr. LTM takes care of Brielle all night while I sleep. I've had a hard time sleeping, so hopefully that ends soon.

July 12, 2014

She's Here!

Brielle Elizabeth born 7/11/2014 @ 6:42am! 7lb13oz and 19.5 inches long!

We are home and doing well! Birth story to come!

July 9, 2014

Due Date!

That little ticket is so cute reading 40 weeks pregnant. No baby though:) I did try ice cream as a midday snack hoping that would work but it didn't!

About 24 hours until my induction. Hoping I don't need it:)

July 8, 2014

When are you due?

This is the best question ever when asked the week that you are due. I went out to dinner with a close friend yesterday to a relatively nice restaurant. I wore my cute maternity maxi dress, which really feels like a nightgown so the joke is on everyone else. Several people asked, "when are you due/" Um, two days!!!

Well that was yesterday. Tomorrow is my due date. Not that due dates mean much. Today I feel totally normal. I've had quite a few Braxton Hicks but truly, nothing new for me. Other than that, I did have a hard time sleeping last night. The first time in the whole 9 months!! I was so freaking hot. Since I didn't sleep well I kinda dozed several hours this morning and Miss B just played next to me. I felt so bad but once I dozed a bit, B and I were able to go about our day.

Like last time, I'm a few days from my induction. I'm not hoping to make it to that, but getting used to the idea. The one nice thing about it is there is kind of a plan in place. It's hard to imagine going into labor in the evening when you have a toddler at home. I've envisioned just driving to the hospital myself so everyone can rest. Don't worry, I won't do it.

As usual, MR. LTM is starting to freak out a bit. I get men. Birth is hard for them because they have no control over anything. I remember the poor guy when I was in labor with B and crying my eyes out when my meds didn't work. He was ready to hurt someone. Not that it was anyone's fault, but he needed someone to blame.

Baby is active today and last night. Actually, she normally sleeps through the night and last night she was having a field day around midnight. Between that and being hot, I thought I would never get any sleep. Then I remembered in a few more days, I won't be sleeping at all! LOL

July 6, 2014

T-Minus 3 Days

I'm looking at that ticker and it says there are three days until our little girl gets here. Today I was gone for a few hours and when I got back, Mr. LTM said he was freaking out a little. Poor men. The reality of kids starts to hit them right when the shit is about to hit the fan. Sure it's been real until now... he's been working on "Honey Do" lists for awhile. But once that date gets near, BAM!

I dunno, I just figure bringing home your second is easier than your first. I mean, we already know mostly what to expect. And B was a great, great baby so we assume this one won't be. When you bring home your first baby, it's kind of a life shocker. They change everything. What you thought you knew, you actually don't know.  You suddenly blend your life style with theirs and just function.

This time I figure baby comes home and fits in to how we are living. Sure we need to adjust schedules and expectations, but I'm setting myself up for any easy life with two kids. And, in about a month, one of you may kindly redirect me back to this post. :)

Speaking of posts, I'm about to go back and read my posts that exist from the time I was ready to deliver Miss B. Not that I want to be reminded of that horrible and painful delivery, but why not?

Don't worry dear reader, I have Blogger on my cell phone so I'll at least post a one sentence update when baby comes. My tracker says the page gets about 35 visits a day, so I better post something!

July 3, 2014

Less Than a Week to Go...39 weeks

And the end is near! Most pregnant woman are dying to get their baby out. They are sick of the swollen ankles, sore back and giant stomach. I commonly hear, "I can't wait for this to be over."

Pregnancy has been good to me...twice. No swollen ankles, ever. No back pain. I sleep a full night with a few bathroom interruptions. I'm never really uncomfortable. My life is the exact same, with a basketball as a stomach.

The end of pregnancy is rough only because I know this is more than likely the last I'll experience. I'm thankful for all of the experiences and friends that infertility has brought me. I would say to "us" but Mr. LTM is just thankful for the babies. He hasn't made the friends and connections that I have.

Infertility sucks. There are still so many girls out there who just cannot catch a break and reach the point of getting a "take-home" baby. I sometimes challenge the way things happen. I don't understand why a woman who wants nothing more than a baby, can't have one. I was there, and it sucks the big one.

Today at at my regular check-up Miss B and I both melted at the sight of a newborn baby in the doctor's office. B continuously told the parents how cute their baby was. That little squishy face made me realize that this pregnancy can be done... I want to see my little girls' face!

As for appointments... flying colors again today. NSTs are great, my blood pressure stays around 112/72, no real contractions (that I feel!) and no swelling. I'm a lucky, lucky girl.

This weekend is the last weekend that we will be a family of three. I have an induction schedule for July 10th at 8pm. One more week, max.

Part of me hoped that today would be the big day. Today was my grandmother's birthday. She was one of my favorite people until cancer stole her from us about 10 years ago. My mom called to remind me that if I went today, it would have been "mom's" birthday (that's what we called her!). But, she also shared that the 4th was great-grandma's bday, so there is still hope! Ha!

One week to go!