March 15, 2013

Infertility Jerks

Are you infertile? Well, maybe not you but you, "the couple?" For instance, I'm not infertile but dealt with infertility. As a group we just call ourselves infertile. Anywho, are you one of us? If so, are you an infertility jerk?

I am. I'm not proud of it and neither are my infertility jerk sisters. It's not a group we asked to be in. It's not a group we are proud of. It just kinda happens. I actually think there are two levels of infertility jerks... Level One and Level Two. I'm ashamed to be a Level Two, but I don't think I have too much control over it.

Level One infertility jerks are those who belong to the IF group and they have no kids yet. Level One's have a hard time dealing with pregnancies, pregnancy announcements, showers, pregnant people and gender reveal parties. You can understand why though. Others have something they want. Level Ones don't really want to feel this way. Some Level Ones feel bad about their hostility, especially when someone close to them is pregnant. Level Ones have a hard time being happy for others who are pregnant or even trying. Don't judge them, I used to be one and I totally get these girls. Life sucks when you want a baby and don't have one.

Level Twos are the worst. Level Twos had IF issues but have had a successful pregnancy or adoption. We are infertiles who have kids already. And that's the reason we are huge jerks. We have kids, but your pregnancy announcement annoys us. Your constant Facebook updates rub us the wrong way. Yes, we are totally happy for you, but that infertility devil (yup, she's baaaacccck) tells us that you had an easy time getting pregnant, even though we don't really know that.

I hate being a Level Two. I LOVE babies and I want everyone to have them. I'm excited that my friend is having her first kid at 34. I really am excited. But for some unknown reason, the infertility devil bothers me. I hate being a Level Two. Hopefully, you don't think I'm a horrible person :)

Screw you IF devil!

March 11, 2013

It's Starting

GAH! That moment I always hated when I was a mommy bachelorette. . . "Soooo, when are you going to have kids?" Total vom. Mind your business people! Lately a lot of my friends are on "number two." Not potty talk here people. Kid number two and so  the questions have started. "Are you guys having more kids?" "Will Brooklyn have a brother or sister?"

And I know you are thinking to youself, "So yea, are you?" Good question. I'm not lying here, but I know Mr. LTM and I are truly still scarred from the whole two years of trying and not getting a baby. Mr. LTM has made it pretty clear that if there were a second, we are going straight to IVF. I understand that. TTC almost ruined our relationship, so why not skip to the good stuff? We have two snowbabies. For those of you new to the lingo, that means we have two frozen embryos (egg and sperm already joined). This means we'd need to meet with an RE, see if one of these babes would make the thaw, and then attempt to transfer one on over. So, should we?

We have all the the wrong reasons to not do it. 1. Our house is too small. 2. Brooklyn and baby would have to share a room. 3. Where the hell are we going to put more baby stuff? 4. I can't drink wine when I'm pregnant. Ok, that one was thrown in for fun. But seriously, the other three reasons seem valid to us.

In all honesty, we haven't talked about "number two" in a while, but I keep thinking that I'd need to try a frozen transfer this summer to have number two born after Brooklyn turns three. And so the thinking begins! Bet you can't wait to follow those posts!

March 4, 2013

Friends with "S"

How long have you been following my blog? Go back to one of the earlier posts marked "Retrieval Day." Remember that young couple in the office that was having retrieval when I was? Yea, I'm still friends with S.

It's literally like a Hollywood film. Two couples just struggling with infertility. Both couples about the same age and living their lives just 10 miles apart. They go through IVF and see each other in the office of the IVF institute. The girls see each other again and pregnancy test blood retrieval dates.  One day online, their "stars" cross (OMG, if S is reading this she may think I've turned lesbian. Nothing wrong with that, but I'm just trying to make my post so Hollywood!).

Anywho- One day two years ago I'm chilling on my favorite infertility and pregnancy website. I get a private message from a girl who is all, "Um, did you just have IVF at Dr. Miller? I swear you are the girl that I saw in his office a couple of times." BAM! We've been friends ever since! Totes Hollywood. . .right?

So, S's girls will be two this coming weekend! Brooklyn is sooooo excited! They are like little besties. I mean, they've been hanging out since Brooklyn was about 4 weeks old. It's so fun to look back at pictures of them when they were newborns. Brooklyn has a photo book of the three of them. She loves seeing pictures of them as babies together. I'm totally sure S and I could do some reality show or Maury Povich show of our story. Lucky for us, we both struggled with IF together and three beautiful miracles to show for it. Yay!

March 3, 2013

Birthday, Birthday!

Check out that adorable ticker at the top of my page. I cannot believe that Brooklyn is almost two years old. Man, the time just flies by. It's weird, but I always think about my IVF journey with her and not so much her birthday milestones. I always remember these milestones insead:

March 2010: Rock bottom. Feeling like shit. I will for sure never have a baby. Everyone sucks because they can have a baby and I can't. Why does life hate me?

April 2010: Mr. Later Than Most has infertility insurance coverage. . . okay, things may get a little better.

May 2010: First appointment at the IVF Institute. I start crying as I walk in the door. How is it that life has gotten to this point? What will the doctor say? Dr. recommends IVF and asks insurance to bybass required round of clomid. 0% morphology will surely not grant us much success on a medicated IUI round.

July 2010- I'm smuggling IVF drugs to family events and stabbing myself in bathrooms. I can get used to this.

End of July- Freaking out the night before by blood work to see if the IVF worked. I breakdown and POS- BFP. . . . Holy Fricking Crap.

And the rest is history, peeps. Yes, and SCH here and a few bleeding episodes there, but that little ticker up there reminds me that my little miracle is almost two years old (and almost up from her nap!).

And from the previous post: Brooklyn looked at the soles of her Uggs the other day and saw a circular logo. She pointed to it and said, "Mom, my Uggs are loading!" Hahahaha, if you have an iPad or an iPhone, you can appreciate that comment :)

Got to love her!