LIfe is Good! Graduation

As of Wednesday, I'm a graduate! I've officially been released from my RE and with all fabulous news! As of my appointment, I was 7w6d. Here are the deets:

HCG- 284,596
Progesterone- 92.6
Estrogen- 1141

The baby measured 8w0d. The little heart was beat, beat, beating away at 157 bpm and the final news. . . My SCH is gone! Whoo hoo!

I'm scheduled to see my OB on December 12. I'm going back to the same OB I had with my first pregnancy. I loveee him. What a great practice. They gave me all kinds of extra attention and scans from having an IVF pregnancy. I'm thrilled to go back to his office.

As for the shots and drugs. . . I'm to stay on My two Estrace (twice a day) until December 11, then I will decrease to one pill twice a day until January 5. I will stay on two shots of progesterone a day until December 25, then I will take one a day until January 8. I will also stay on the baby aspirin until January 8.

Here is that cutie on the day before Thanksgiving:

My Day

5:30am- Wake up and go pee. No blood! Yay. Start brushing teeth. . . Um, I need to barf.

5:35- Dry heaving and nothing comes up because duh, I haven't eaten since 8:00pm last night.

5:45- Eat a peppermint and life is good. Cereal to come later.

8:05- I'm now at work. Ugh, there's that feeling again. I gag all the way to my closet and eat more peppermints.

9:33- Right in the middle of large group reading instruction. "Um, Caleb, can you please pass your teacher one of those mints? Thanks hon. Just trust me on this one."

10:05- On my way to the copy room while eating Saltines. I get an evil eye from the secretary. One that says, "I know what you've got going on."

10:07- Said secretary chases me down. "OMG! I had the craziest dream about you last night! You had a brand new baby BOY! You named him Chase and Miss B was sooooo happy!"

Me: OMG! That's crazy! You need a day off from work if you are dreaming about me!

4:07pm- That was a great afternoon! No gagging!

4:08- Oh crap, there it is again. Where is that fucking trail mix?

4:20- Driving home with Brooklyn and I kid you not. . "Um mom? Are you eating again?" She is so on to me.

Night is going great!

6:02- Gagging and Mr. Later Than Most is looking at me with disgust (not really, but makes a good story).

7:10- My Amazon box came! I'm now wearing Sea Bands and eating Preggie Drops. This night just got better!

Another fun day! LOL

*When reading, please know that I am in no way complaining about pregnancy whatsoever. I'm very happy and lucky to have any symptom I can get. My blog is to entertain though :)

Nongraduate

I haven't exactly graduated from the RE yet. Thursday was to be my last day, but Thursday night I had some spotting, so I'm staying another week. I have a feeling the spotting is from the damn ultrasound or the fricken SCH that I have. I'll be heading back to the RE this Wednesday to check on that SCH and see how things are going. The IVF nurse did tell me on Thursday to call my OB and get schedule for an appointment in the next two weeks.

Thursday's bloodwork is back:

HCG level 192,698 (37dpo)
Progesterone 74
Estrogen 903


So back to the gagging. It's still happening. I've dry-heaved a couple of times, which is totally grossing Mr. Later Than Most out. I took matters into my hands and bought some mints yesterday and ordered those damn Preggie Drops I used to make fun of. I cannot go all day gagging all the time. New this pregnancy is the food aversions. I did not have this with B. We ordered a pizza the other night and I couldn't be in the same room as it after I ate one tiny corner. I ended up eating Ramen Noodles. Order my fav chicken salad from Peapod, nope, can't eat that. $6 down the drain. Today I've eaten Chinese food twice (from the same order). I hate food aversions!!!! I normally eat rather healthy and I'm currently living on carbs. This cannot go on forever, right? :)

Ultrasound #2

Ultrasound #2 was today! Everything was looking good. The baby was measuring 7w2d and had a heartbeat of 155 bpm. It's a relief to know that everything is going well and this little one is doing great. Which reminds me, it probably needs a nickname.

Pregnancy number two is obviously different than one. For one thing, we are all more relaxed. Mr. LTM has not gone to one ultrasound with me. We don't want him to miss work. We figure there will be more opportunities ahead. We haven't talked about finding out the gender or anything. I guess it seems like it's just early, but conversations to be had none-the-less.

This time round I'm not feeling as hot as I did with B. The constant nausea sucks, but I'll deal with it. Also, I'm pretty sure that I'm only taking in food and not letting any out. You gotta love pregnancy. Right now I have a baby bloat going. Thank goodness for large winter sweaters!

Ok so all good news, I'm off to get shot in the ass.

7w0d

Ultrasound Complete!

I've been so busy with school and conferences, that it's truly taken me days to update. One update you may be wanting to know is if that morning sickness I've had is fake or not (see previous post). I'm sorry to say that it is in fact real. BARF!!! I never ever had morning sickness with Brooklyn, so this is new to me. I have not thrown up once, but I gag and feel sick all day long. I've tried eating here and there, but nothing even sounds good. Gagging is so gross. I'm really trying not to complain!

On Thursday I went for bloodwork and an ultrasound. That would be equal to 30dpo, or 24dp6dt. My HCG level was 78,399. Another huge beta. My ultrasound on Thursday though did show one, healthy baby with a heartbeat of 115bpm!

I'm going to be honest here, I was totally expecting twins! Heather was the only person to think it was one baby. I got used to the idea and was even picking out my new City Select. Ok, I wasn't really doing that, but I really was used to the idea. I'm not going to lie, I'm not ruling it out until my ultrasound this Thursday. I just feel like crap all the time, so I'm thinking there is another babe hiding somewhere.

Here is my ultrasound from 6w0d:

My next ultrasound is Thursday the 21st. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything looks well. If so, I should be released to a regular OB.

As I mentioned, I have myself convinced that I have kicked my Infertility Devil's ass. Because of this, I have put a ticker at the top of my page. :)

I Kicked Her ASS!!!!!

I finally won! I have beaten my Infertility Devil. I have kicked her ass big-time. She has haunted me for years and years. She took away my pregnancy happiness with Brooklyn. She forever haunts me with negative thoughts and makes me pessimistic, but last night, I finally won.

It was almost like an epiphany. It's a little embarrassing actually. Last night Mr. Later Than Most and I were having a conversation turned argument. Nothing big at all, just the normal bickerings of two people who have worked a stressful day and now have something to deal with at home. During our "discussion" we raised our voices a bit. Not common for us, but it happened. A little while later B started crying about something and mentioned us raising our voices and was it because of her. Holy shit. Talking about taking your breath away. I felt about as shitty as you can feel as a parent. We were discussing something not important at all and somehow, she related it to her and was worried that it was because of her. I've never felt worse in my life. 

So last night I sat thinking how amazing she is. How amazingly smart, kind, and energetic she is. We are so extremely blessed to have her. I remember those awful days where I had to wonder if my wish of being a mommy would ever come true. And there she was. At that moment I decided that I can not control everything. I can't sit around worrying if my ultrasound is too early. I will not obsess about the numbers they give me tomorrow from my HCG. I will not waste my time Googling any info they give me at the RE's office to see if it is good news or bad news. I will not do those things because I am happy and the infertility devil will no longer take away my positive thoughts.

I'm happy to say that after 5 years of knowing that bitch, she's out of here. 

Heather will be so proud.

Why Oh Why? Ultrasound Rant

So tomorrow was the day that the nurse suggested I have an ultrasound. What did I do? I told her I wanted to come in later because 5w5d is really on the cusp of seeing a heartbeat and that would make me worry. She was kind enough to let me do what I want, hence my appointment this Thursday at 6w0d.

WTF did I do that? Technically the heartbeat can start up until the middle of 6 weeks. If I would have went tomorrow, I would have known it was way too early to see one. Now I'm in a worse position and I'll be even more worried if I don't see one. Seriously, wtf is wrong with me?

This is the infertility devil at it's finest, people. One minute I'm reading posts on a July 2014 birth month board and the next minute I'm crazy analyzing something I cannot change. GAH!!!!!!!

Ok, one more detail to tell you how nuts I am. Luckily I don't know most of you in real life so you can judge me and not have to be friends with me. Here goes. . . I "think" I have morning sickness. Yes, I THINK. I know, I know. How in the world does a person "think" they have morning sickness? Isn't it obvious? Don't you just go and vom? Well, my infertility devil is so STRONG, that when I spent the morning gagging, I thought that it was all in my head and I wasn't really gagging. I was just really wanting to gag since morning sickness would be a good sign. So here I am at 10:00pm wondering if I had real morning sickness this morning or fake morning sickness.

I think we can all agree that there is certainly a sickness here, huh?

The LOOOOOOOOOONG Wait

I'm starting to kick myself that I put that first ultrasound off for a few days. This long wait is killing me. My infertility devil is sneaking in once in a while and trying to take-over my thoughts. My nondevil side keeps taking me to pregnancy forums and birth month clubs to see whats going on. It's like to have two personalities.

I have no pee sticks, so I have not peed on a stick since my second beta. Today I'm so exhausted and just not feeling like my normal self. That has to be a good sign. I'm a person who is normally up and about all day long. I never sit still. Weekends are spent cleaning and shopping. Today, I have not moved from the couch for more than an hour and took a two hour nap. I don't remember being like this with B.

Mr. Later Than Most has truly been a blessing. He is doing EVERYTHING around here. He is really picking up my slack and really not even batting an eye. This cannot last forever! I'm lucky that he "gets it." I just don't feel like doing a thing! Why is this ultrasound so far away?

Leading Details

I have been so busy, that I've neglected my blog with BFP details. I've also neglected laundry and two sinks full of dishes too. :)

I waited most of Monday for my second beta call. I'm so nervous and cautious, but I'm trying to stay positive.

I had the numbers all figured out. I knew that with a beta of around 500 on Thursday, I would hope for it to be around 1000 on Saturday and then 2000 on Monday. Though I didn't have blood drawn on Saturday, I needed that anchor day to help me figure out my numbers. So, 2000 it was.

When the nurse called she didn't tell me the number right away and I began to get nervous. When she finally cut to the chase, she told me it was 4,577. I thought, "GREAT! The 2,000 doubled! I'm in great shape." I went on teaching the rest of the day. After school I noticed I had three text messages: one from Heather, one from Christina, and one from S. All of them said the same thing, "Where are you and did you get that beta number?" Yea, yea I got it. I sent them the number and they kept responding the same way. Things like, "Oh wow" and "Holy Shit" were mentioned. I kept wondering why I keep friends around that are such alarmists. Big deal, it doubled like it should!

On my drive home I'm doing some thinking. The cars are going past me as I day dream about my beta call. H.O.L.Y. S.H.I.T. I was hoping the nurse told me my number WAS 2000! For some reason that two thousand stuck in my head and when the 4,000+ beta came back, I thought it was spot on and the original 2,000 beta doubled. But 2,000 was the number I was hoping for and she told me it was over 4,000. WHAT?

So I got home and did what any girl would do. I jumped on the Beta Base website and found my doubling time. It's 30.5 hours. Here's the info for your viewing pleasure:

Here is the average doubling time for my beta in single pregnancies. My range is the last line:

Here is the doubling time for twins. My range is last line:

And scare me half to death, here is the triplet times. Mine is the last line:

Sooooo, what does all of this mean? Well it means I'm a creepy BetaBase stalker for one. I don't know what it means!

So a regular ultrasound is normally schedule at 5weeks5days for my RE office. At that ultrasound they rule out ectopic pregnancy. I told the nurse I wanted to come in a little later than that because it's not likely to see a heartbeat then. I schedule my appointment for 6weeks0days, Thursday, November 14. She did say that I should not expect to see anything then either.

Mr. Later Than Most is not coming to this appointment. The other day he said, "I wish we were normal. I wish you could come home one day and just say, 'I'm pregnant!'" I told him that I totally understood that and I thought about it, but it just seemed forced. So, he is not going to the ultrasound so I can hopefully surprise him with details! Don't worry, I didn't show him the beta info. Less information is more!

Beta #2

The second beta result is 4,577! That's a 30.5 hour doubling time. I can't find one person who doesn't think there are twins in there. My first ultrasound will be November 14. I'm nervous! Lol

Looking for Symptoms

When I was pregnant with B, I pretty much had so symptoms. My back was killing me from about week 6 to week 8. Then for two weeks the word "Panera" or the sight of my dog's bed both made me gag. I honestly wouldn't have really believed I was pregnant if it weren't for all of those ultrasounds.

I know it's early, but same thing this time round. I had those cramps last week and that is it. Life is running as normal and once in a while I think, "Holy crap! I forgot my FET worked." Things are so different the second time round.

I hate waiting all of these days for another beta. I only have one pee stick left so I'm trying not to waste it. I've already used two since Wednesday. Maybe I should run to the Dollar Store tomorrow and just stock up. I can't see those lines enough!

My blog had 148 views yesterday. 148! I think my same few friends must have read it about 25 times each. They were hoping I'd post some details. Until the symptoms kick in, I'm waiting around for my beta on Monday!

Wow That Beta...

Before we go back to the good stuff, I have to confess. I did POAS the night before my beta. I was so nervous that I could barely hold the stick in the pee. I probably had some symptoms, but I really tried to ignore them. Around Tuesday I was getting out of breath just getting ready in the morning. I had to stop and rest. I noticed my heart-rate was up. Also, the food bloat makes me look about 16 weeks pregnant every time I eat. I don't really EVER get bloated when I eat, so I thought that was weird. Lastly, those cramps last week were rather interesting. I was so worried I wouldn't get them!

So around 9pm on Wednesday night I decided to just test. I figured I would sleep better either way. I had trouble sleeping on Tuesday night because I was thinking about Thursday's blood test. So at 9pm I told Mr. LTM I was taking a shower. I had already hid my sticks and the cup. I went into the bathroom and let the water run. I tore the stick open fast and then hesitated. The positivity was stronger than the negativity, but the Infertility Devil was really screwing with me. After using the test, I put it on the counter and stared at it. The whole thing turned pink and the control line came up nice and dark, but not a hint of a test line. I began to panic and thought, "Holy shit. I can't believe it's negative." Staring at it for a few more seconds I could see a faint line starting to show. I was so relieved. Within five minutes the test line was nice and dark and I breathed a sign of relief.

I immediately texted a bunch of people! I'm so bad! Here's the short list:

Heather- Yes she was my texting buddy when I POAS with my first IVF.

Christina- Another TWW buddy. She really thought this was going to work and I appreciated the positive thoughts.

S- Sent her a text to ask if she was up first. Her response, "Did you test???" LOL

Amanda- Remember Amanda? We tried to hang ourselves with phone charger during a bachlorette party. We were done with infertility. Amanda is doing a frozen cycle right now with my doctor. She's about 3 weeks behind me in the process.

So see, this is not that large of a list. But then I may have proceeded to post my positive test on my private FaceBook group page to 85 of my closest internet friends. So if you add these up, about 90 people knew before I told Mr. LTM. Ooops!

I thought about telling him in a creative way, but I couldn't think of anything. I told him the next morning before my appointment. He normally stays cautious until the ultrasound.

As I posted yesterday, my beta is 504 at 16 days past ovulation, or 10 days past a six day transfer. That's a high number. They do say higher numbers don't indicate twins, but I'm nervous!

My next blood test is on Monday. Positive thoughts are always welcomed!

It's In

Blood beta result of 504!

My next draw is on Monday! 

More details later!