You people are still reading my blog! I go to check the stats once in a while and my blog had 35 hits just yesterday. That is a shit-ton of pressure people. But you are lucky, I do have some crap to say.
Well first, let me just say that I've been going back through my blog and reading some of the posts. Holy crap, I'm rather funny. I mean, I even had myself laughing and my own writing. That's when you know you are either an idiot or your own biggest fan. I'm going to go with an idiot.
So here is what happened today. I'm innocently driving to a friends house with Miss B in the back seat. She is WAYYYYYY into music. It's scary. She knows the lyrics to an entire Taylor Swift song. So after her solo about a girl meeting a boy at the alter and running away, Katy Perry's "Firework" came on. I may or may not have mentioned this is previous posts, but that song reminds me of my pregnancy. I always felt that the baby was a "firework" and was going to show us all what it was "worth." Anyway, then Miss B learned to sing the "Ahhh. Ahhh. Ahhh." part and it was just very timely. So today the song comes on and Miss B is just drinking in her sippy. All of the sudden I get all teary-eyed. All of those damn emotions of infertility came storming back to me. That song made me remember the pregnancy that I actually never though I would get. It's so WEIRD. You know how you smell a perfume or certain candle and it reminds you of a specific event, well this song does that for me. It's so weird. Then I started realizing that those feelings just don't go away. I think I've always known this and my other IF friends say the same thing, but it really is true. Horrible experiences just stick with you. I guess we all knew that the hostility was still there when I wrote that recent post called, "Infertility Jerks." Oh yes, if you missed that one, you really missed out. The other good post of attitude is called something like, "Don't be an A-hole."
July 11, 2013
July 10, 2013
13 Reasons I need Baby Number 2
1. I have this amazing Chicago Bear's maternity shirt that says, "We are Bears Fans!
2. Brooklyn has asked me where her brother is. "Um honey, you don't have a brother, remember? Just a dog."
3. I'll need some info to keep this blog going.
4. My MFM told me that I had the perfect torso to carry multiples. Now, is it just me or does that mean it's an uber perfect torso for a singleton?
5. I bought an Ergo in Galaxy Gray that really needs some more use to get my $120 worth.
6. A second baby just shouts "Screw you infertility! I did it and I will do it again!"
7. Embryo storage has been costing $500 a year. We wouldn't want that to go to waste, now would we?
8. I already know that my favorite brand of diaper is Parents-Choice. I really need to just try to use those from birth and see if I like them as much as I think I do.
9. A second baby would allow me to contemplate cloth diapering. Screw number 8.
10. I'm wondering if the second baby will fall out like the first one did. (see birth story from April 2011)
11. Will the second child be as cute as the first? Let's find out!
12. I can truly use a 9 month break from wine.
13. Aden and Anais. Enough said.
2. Brooklyn has asked me where her brother is. "Um honey, you don't have a brother, remember? Just a dog."
3. I'll need some info to keep this blog going.
4. My MFM told me that I had the perfect torso to carry multiples. Now, is it just me or does that mean it's an uber perfect torso for a singleton?
5. I bought an Ergo in Galaxy Gray that really needs some more use to get my $120 worth.
6. A second baby just shouts "Screw you infertility! I did it and I will do it again!"
7. Embryo storage has been costing $500 a year. We wouldn't want that to go to waste, now would we?
8. I already know that my favorite brand of diaper is Parents-Choice. I really need to just try to use those from birth and see if I like them as much as I think I do.
9. A second baby would allow me to contemplate cloth diapering. Screw number 8.
10. I'm wondering if the second baby will fall out like the first one did. (see birth story from April 2011)
11. Will the second child be as cute as the first? Let's find out!
12. I can truly use a 9 month break from wine.
13. Aden and Anais. Enough said.
July 9, 2013
Road to Mommyhood- Take 2
Be warned. . . my infertility devil is back.
Now that you know that, you'll know that I announce news with minor excitement. Mr. LTM and I are scheduled to see our RE on August 5 to discuss a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). In regular people terms. . . baby number two! Yes, yes, you are excited right? I am too, but that damn IF devil is already screwing with my mind.
Let me be the first to say that I'm already less consumed and stressed this time around. Having one child already does make the journey easier. The first time around there is a ton of pressure and what-ifs. What if I never have a child? What if IVF doesn't work? What if I never get to experience pregnancy? This time around I'm taking it easy. . . no Google, no chat forums, no website stalking.
I won't really know too much about an FET cycle until my consultation appointment on August 5! I'm excited to see what my doctor suggests and more excited to see how quickly we can get this ball rolling! I mean, I am 35 already! Well, those eggs are from when I was 32, so you do the math. Am I a high-risk geriatric mom at the age of the 35, or will I just be a 35 year old carrying 32 year old eggs? Totes confusing!
Now that you know that, you'll know that I announce news with minor excitement. Mr. LTM and I are scheduled to see our RE on August 5 to discuss a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). In regular people terms. . . baby number two! Yes, yes, you are excited right? I am too, but that damn IF devil is already screwing with my mind.
Let me be the first to say that I'm already less consumed and stressed this time around. Having one child already does make the journey easier. The first time around there is a ton of pressure and what-ifs. What if I never have a child? What if IVF doesn't work? What if I never get to experience pregnancy? This time around I'm taking it easy. . . no Google, no chat forums, no website stalking.
I won't really know too much about an FET cycle until my consultation appointment on August 5! I'm excited to see what my doctor suggests and more excited to see how quickly we can get this ball rolling! I mean, I am 35 already! Well, those eggs are from when I was 32, so you do the math. Am I a high-risk geriatric mom at the age of the 35, or will I just be a 35 year old carrying 32 year old eggs? Totes confusing!
July 2, 2013
I've Been a Little Busy!
I hate when I get busy and can't post to my blog. I have one of those personalities where I feel like there is a deadline for blogging and if I get to far away, then I shouldn't blog anymore. I know, weird right?
Since my last blog I had to finish up the end of my school year for teaching. Then I finished several graduate classes and completed the homework. Right after that, Brooklyn and I went to Disney World with family. We had a great time seeing the sites and driving all over Florida. We even went to Siesta Key Beach on the Gulf Coast and were able to enjoy the beautiful white beaches. Momma always needs a white sand beach break (with two sangrias.)
As for this summer, Brooklyn and I are spending some time visiting friends and hanging out with family. It's great to spend time as a SAH mommy but also still work the rest of the year. I'm sure many people would love to stay at home full-time, but I do know that it is not for me, and that's okay.
It's amazing that I can still see how many people follow this blog. It's quite a bit. I can also see which posts of mine are being read on which days. Many times my most read posts are ones that had to do with my IVF cycle or the posts following. I know this means that others are reading my experience and hopefully connecting to their own life. I'm glad that my blog is interesting or helpful to someone out there!
Well, if you are a regular reader, I can promise you some exciting news in the next few days. No, I'm not pregnant. Did a pig fly past your window or something? But the news is fun!
Since my last blog I had to finish up the end of my school year for teaching. Then I finished several graduate classes and completed the homework. Right after that, Brooklyn and I went to Disney World with family. We had a great time seeing the sites and driving all over Florida. We even went to Siesta Key Beach on the Gulf Coast and were able to enjoy the beautiful white beaches. Momma always needs a white sand beach break (with two sangrias.)
As for this summer, Brooklyn and I are spending some time visiting friends and hanging out with family. It's great to spend time as a SAH mommy but also still work the rest of the year. I'm sure many people would love to stay at home full-time, but I do know that it is not for me, and that's okay.
It's amazing that I can still see how many people follow this blog. It's quite a bit. I can also see which posts of mine are being read on which days. Many times my most read posts are ones that had to do with my IVF cycle or the posts following. I know this means that others are reading my experience and hopefully connecting to their own life. I'm glad that my blog is interesting or helpful to someone out there!
Well, if you are a regular reader, I can promise you some exciting news in the next few days. No, I'm not pregnant. Did a pig fly past your window or something? But the news is fun!
May 22, 2013
The Adventures of Pap and Miss B
Have you met Pap? He's Brooklyn's best friend. She received him on her first birthday and then have been best buds every day and ever since.
Pap is a world traveler. He's been to Disney World, both Florida coasts, Michigan, and a few other places. I don't mind him too much. He's kinda one of the family.
Last week Brooklyn's started asking us to tell her bedtime stories. Mr. LTM's stories are normally ones where he can sneak in a little fantasy. His are a little "out there" and in my honest opinion, I thought they took too long. Well one night Mr. LTM was working late and couldn't put Miss B to bed with one of this famous stories. When I put her in the crib, she told me that I had to tell her a story. I knew I had a lot of papers to grade so I tried to get out of it. I got about one step away before she insisted I tell her a story because "daddy does." Oh.no.she.didn't.
So mommy's stories are, The Adventures of Pap and Brookie. My stories are based off of real experiences that Brooklyn has had when she was younger, or situations that are coming up, like vacation. I'm telling you. . . the look on that child's face is priceless during story time! Oh my gosh. Her eyes literally light up. She's smiling behind her paci (Yes she's two. And thanks for checking the ticker while thinking, "Isn't she too old for a paci?"). She's hugging Pap like there is no tomorrow and just a glow with excitment. BEST. FEELING. EVER!
Remind me that I owe Mr. LTM for adding bedtime stories to our evening routine. :)
P.S. "Pap" was actually the word "flat". We called him Flat Panda when she got him. After a while she started calling him "Pap", which we thought meant "Panda." She told us this year that Pap means "flat." LOL
Last week Brooklyn's started asking us to tell her bedtime stories. Mr. LTM's stories are normally ones where he can sneak in a little fantasy. His are a little "out there" and in my honest opinion, I thought they took too long. Well one night Mr. LTM was working late and couldn't put Miss B to bed with one of this famous stories. When I put her in the crib, she told me that I had to tell her a story. I knew I had a lot of papers to grade so I tried to get out of it. I got about one step away before she insisted I tell her a story because "daddy does." Oh.no.she.didn't.
So mommy's stories are, The Adventures of Pap and Brookie. My stories are based off of real experiences that Brooklyn has had when she was younger, or situations that are coming up, like vacation. I'm telling you. . . the look on that child's face is priceless during story time! Oh my gosh. Her eyes literally light up. She's smiling behind her paci (Yes she's two. And thanks for checking the ticker while thinking, "Isn't she too old for a paci?"). She's hugging Pap like there is no tomorrow and just a glow with excitment. BEST. FEELING. EVER!
Remind me that I owe Mr. LTM for adding bedtime stories to our evening routine. :)
P.S. "Pap" was actually the word "flat". We called him Flat Panda when she got him. After a while she started calling him "Pap", which we thought meant "Panda." She told us this year that Pap means "flat." LOL
May 13, 2013
My Third Mother's Day
Being a mom to Brooklyn is more than I ever thought it would be. The unconditional love is overwhelming. I hate cliches and such, but truly, being a mom changes you.
I read something online a few weeks ago, it may have been on FaceBook. It was this quote about a mom and her daughter (adult age) had told her she was pregnant. Her daughter was glowing and excited, but the mom felt sad. She was sad because she knew what her daughter would go through. Being a mother makes you vulnerable, worried and exposed. You worry every day. Either way, the mother did not want her daughter to feel all of that. So, while she was happy that her daughter was pregnant, she was sad as well. It sounds weird, but totally makes sense.
My first Mother's day I held a one month old in my arms. Boy, was I a novice! I remember wanting her in a cute outfit for my first Mother's Day. A day that I didn't even shower, because I wanted a nap instead. Last year Brooklyn was more interactive on Mother's day, but didn't understand the concept. It was fun to play with her all day and enjoy her company. This year, Brooklyn thought Mother's day was a party! She must have said it nine times. She and Mr. LTM went out to buy flowers and Starbucks. All day she asked me how my day was. It was amazing.
Today Brooklyn told me that I was cute and that I was her "sweetie." We read this book called "We Belong Together" and inside there are pictures of things that go together: bacon and eggs, pencil and paper, fork and spoon, hot chocolate and marshmallows, peanut butter and jelly. When we read the book she points to the pictures of things that go together and says, "That's you mommy, and this is Brookie. We love eachother." Then, when she went bed tonight she said, "Good night, peanut butter." OMG! Melt. My. Heart. Seriously. As a teacher, you'd think that once in a while I might think that I was put on this Earth to teach kids and make a difference. But sometimes I think I was put on this Earth just to be her mother. Thank you IVF, for making this part of my life possible.
LOVE HER.
I read something online a few weeks ago, it may have been on FaceBook. It was this quote about a mom and her daughter (adult age) had told her she was pregnant. Her daughter was glowing and excited, but the mom felt sad. She was sad because she knew what her daughter would go through. Being a mother makes you vulnerable, worried and exposed. You worry every day. Either way, the mother did not want her daughter to feel all of that. So, while she was happy that her daughter was pregnant, she was sad as well. It sounds weird, but totally makes sense.
My first Mother's day I held a one month old in my arms. Boy, was I a novice! I remember wanting her in a cute outfit for my first Mother's Day. A day that I didn't even shower, because I wanted a nap instead. Last year Brooklyn was more interactive on Mother's day, but didn't understand the concept. It was fun to play with her all day and enjoy her company. This year, Brooklyn thought Mother's day was a party! She must have said it nine times. She and Mr. LTM went out to buy flowers and Starbucks. All day she asked me how my day was. It was amazing.
Today Brooklyn told me that I was cute and that I was her "sweetie." We read this book called "We Belong Together" and inside there are pictures of things that go together: bacon and eggs, pencil and paper, fork and spoon, hot chocolate and marshmallows, peanut butter and jelly. When we read the book she points to the pictures of things that go together and says, "That's you mommy, and this is Brookie. We love eachother." Then, when she went bed tonight she said, "Good night, peanut butter." OMG! Melt. My. Heart. Seriously. As a teacher, you'd think that once in a while I might think that I was put on this Earth to teach kids and make a difference. But sometimes I think I was put on this Earth just to be her mother. Thank you IVF, for making this part of my life possible.
LOVE HER.
May 7, 2013
Toddlers are like Teens
I don't have a teen, but I coached middle school cheerleading for two years. Need I say more?
Each day Brooklyn is a little like those 12 teen-aged cheerleaders I had. First, she kinda talks back. Today Mr. LTM asked her to give him a hug. Her response was, "No thanks, I'm busy." Yes, it's cute right? But she wasn't sitting in her little Pottery Barn chair coloring like they do in the catalog. She was pulling on the baby monitor cord and attaching it to her My Little Pony as a leash.
She likes to hurt our feelings. . . on purpose. The other day I told her how much I loved her. Brooklyn's response was, "Mom, you are not my friend." Seriously! Just as I was sitting back and reflecting on how tiny she used to be. How I held her in my arms and rocked her bitty self to sleep. How I shot myself in the stomach for 8 days to go through IVF and she claims I'm not her friend.
She's hormonal. One minute she says, "Mommy, here is your good listener!!!!" And the next moment it's "No. NO! NO! I will not eat that strawberry because it's too HOT." Yes, her strawberries are hot, her bread has too many holes and her chicken nuggets are old. Where does she come up with this stuff?
Her toddler years must be a glimpse of the future. I know someday she's going to tell me she hates me (all teens do), but either way, she's my little baby, and I will continue to tell her that each day!!!
Each day Brooklyn is a little like those 12 teen-aged cheerleaders I had. First, she kinda talks back. Today Mr. LTM asked her to give him a hug. Her response was, "No thanks, I'm busy." Yes, it's cute right? But she wasn't sitting in her little Pottery Barn chair coloring like they do in the catalog. She was pulling on the baby monitor cord and attaching it to her My Little Pony as a leash.
She likes to hurt our feelings. . . on purpose. The other day I told her how much I loved her. Brooklyn's response was, "Mom, you are not my friend." Seriously! Just as I was sitting back and reflecting on how tiny she used to be. How I held her in my arms and rocked her bitty self to sleep. How I shot myself in the stomach for 8 days to go through IVF and she claims I'm not her friend.
She's hormonal. One minute she says, "Mommy, here is your good listener!!!!" And the next moment it's "No. NO! NO! I will not eat that strawberry because it's too HOT." Yes, her strawberries are hot, her bread has too many holes and her chicken nuggets are old. Where does she come up with this stuff?
Her toddler years must be a glimpse of the future. I know someday she's going to tell me she hates me (all teens do), but either way, she's my little baby, and I will continue to tell her that each day!!!
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