May 14, 2011

I'm Literally Nuts

So, sometimes I feel like I should be checked into the loony bin. If you've been reading my blog since pre IVF, you know that infertility can make one crazy. Well, let me tell you how I'm newly crazy.

Yesterday I had to drive to the hospital to return my good ole hospital grade pump. Yes, the one that didn't up my supply. So the office is in the hospital's Mother Baby unit. Well, I walk in with my pump and while I'm returning it, my heart melts. I hear a newborn crying. Right away I realize that Brooklyn does not have that newborn cry anymore. She is now 5 weeks old and her cry does not sound like that. In fact, she's so long she doesn't even look new anymore. Right away I got sad that she's so big already. Yes, I just called my 5 week old baby BIG. As I walked out of the hospital, I missed having a newborn and started thinking that I would have to have a second kid. . . one just isn't enough.

HOLD THE FRICKING PHONE. Wasn't I the one who had some bad baby blues and kept thinking I wanted my old life back? Didn't I have 22 hours of labor (normal), two of which I cried because I needed drugs and was in so much pain? Yes, these were all me. I've already forgotten the pain of labor. I've already forgotten the adjustments to being a new mom. Somehow I've forgotten that I am board off of my ass all day as I'm home with little Miss B. The truth is, the reproductive endocrinologist will be contacting us soon to see what we want to do with our frozen embryos. It's $1000 to store them another year. Mr. Later Than Most keeps telling me one kid is all we get. Either way, I'm happy to have my Miss B.

On a sad note, my sister in law is in preterm labor at the hospital. She's only 24 weeks. If you can spare an extra thought in my future niece's direction, I'd be forever grateful.


stephanie said...

I know what you mean. Everytime my baby girl does Something new or I pack a box of clothes tbat dont fit her anymore, I cry my eyes out. ~ stephnandy from TWW

Teresa said...

your not nuts.. your

Christina said...

I think this is alllll pretty normal Melissa! :-) I can't even believe she's already 5 weeks! On top of it, I'm giving birth in a mere 12 weeks and Heather will be a couple months after that! It's crazy to think that this time last year we all three were just sitting around, wondering if any of this would ever happen! It's so exciting!

Anyhow, if you REALLY miss that newborn baby cry THAT much, you are more than welcome to come to VA the entire month of August and I'll let you re-visit those moments! hee hee!! :-)

Jewels said...

Aww Melissa, I remember feeling just like that when lil man was about a month old. After I swore that labor pains were unforgettable. Lol Wish you guys the best on whatever your decision may be :-)