Well, this is what us Bump girls call a post and run, but I needed to get the frick on here for an update already!
I will be back to work very soon, and tomorrow I'm dropping my little Brooklyn off to her babysitter. Actually, it's a nanny but in her own home so wtf do you call that? Anywho- I want to start getting them acclimated and tomorrow I drop her off for three hours. I'm freaking out! I mean, I always wanted to go back to work, but this is going to be much, much harder than I thought. And truly, I couldn't have a better set up for Miss B. This person is awesome, I already know her. B is the only kid she's watching and she lives two houses down from my school. Yet I'm freaking. It's so tough!!! And really, I'm only leaving her for three hours. To make myself feel better I emailed the nannysitter (there we go) and told her all of my concerns. I told her how I watched an episode of Oprah and a mom left her baby in the car on a hot summer day. The mom was in a routine and just forgot her very own baby. I told the nannysitter that I was deathly afraid of doing this myself, and now I have to worry about her too because a baby is not part of her routine. I also told her that babies need to be put on their backs to sleep now, and that they can't have blankets. I told her how B loves to rub her face with her little blankie and that's how I know it's nap time. I also told her how B has gotten scared of things lately, and may pout and cry if she sees something scary. Normally, I can calm her well, hopefully this person can too.
Great, now I'm crying! Son of a bitch! I guess I should go back through my blogs and remember that I was a mess this time last year wondering if my IVF worked. Now, I have different things to worry about and though they may be though, I'd take them in a heartbeat.
I'll let you know how it goes.
4 comments:
Awww, everything will be okay. Sounds like you are having "normal" fears. Also sounds like you have a wonderful set up with her! Best wishes for tomorrow! Hugs!
I was exactly the same when i had to return back to work. My son was just under 7 months old when i went back full time and i had a list 9 pages long of everything he did and didn't like, tired cues, what different noises meant, the way he liked to sleep, his fears etc etc etc... then two years later when i returned to work (unfortunately it had to be full time again)after my daughters birth.. the list was even longer.. And id like to say that you wont think about her all day (or the three hours) but you will.. But it definitely gets easier and my two LOVE daycare and love the daycare ladies.. so thats great.. And at the end of the day i just told myself (sometimes through tears)that i was doing the best for my children by working and providing them with the best possible future. Its hard .. very hard and i still hang for the weekends to do all the mommy things some others take for granted.. But its life and they wont remember these years.. but as someone once told me.. A child respects a working mother.. They grows up understanding the importance of worth ethic and the value of money.. Lets hope hey.. All the best mate... Just give her extra cuddles when she gets home...
Thank you girls! Teresa, thanks for giving your experience! It's so helpful. We both did well and now we are preparing for this week's drop off!
It's so hard, I know! I hope it went well and things seem a little easier this week.
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