I went back to school today. Everything was great! Well, the kids were okay but I had no bleeding! Whoo hoo!
One of my online friends suggested that I call my OB and see if they planned on scanning an u/s on me next week because of the bleed. I called and. . . . NOPE! They weren't going to! So, a nurse just called me back and I told them my concern. She said she'll talk with the doctor tomorrow and see if they want me this week or next week for an u/s. News flash- no u/s at all equals me and baby getting a new doctor this week. Good thing I didn't pay for my IVF, I would have been all, "Listen, I paid $26,000 to get this baby. Give me my damn ultrasound." Now that's not very teacher-like is it? Um, yea it probably is!
Well, I'm off to a live fantasy football draft. Yea, my husband does it and I joined him a few years ago. I have won before, so I'm not quitting!
August 31, 2010
August 29, 2010
Damn Posts
Just when I post something positive. . . more bleeding today. And it comes at the most unexpected time and just when I'm getting confident. Yesterday I was feeling great. I hadn't had any bleeding in two full weeks. The doctor said the bleed is much smaller and all is good. Well, today I'm all good and running off to a bridal shower when, ta dah! Red blood. I was so surprised that I couldn't even think. I truly said aloud, "You've gotta be kidding me." I mean, really? Right when we are on top of the world. I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything but how could a person not spend a ton of time thinking about it?
Then, at this bridal shower today, my friend just goes on and on about how hard it is to be 38 weeks pregnant. Blah blah she has to pee all the time and eat all the time. You know, I realize that being 38 weeks pregnant must suck, but life can be so much worse. Don't think for two seconds I let her off the hook. Oh no, no, no. I will forever have the infertile mind. I made sure to tell her to be thankful she could walk. Be thankful she has a full term baby and I told her about girls who do over 100 days of bed rest just to keep their kids alive. I know, I know. . . what a downer. But it's reality, and it shut her negative ass up real quick. I hope I'm in her position some day.
So, tomorrow is the third full day of school and I won't be going. Luckily I have the best sub in the world and a very understanding principal. Taking time off already is very hard for me, but I know that resting is so important. My doctor had said 72 hours for every red bleed, but I'm not sure if I can do that this early in the year. That's one thing that teaching does to you. . . it gives you guilt.
Well, that's my update. I'll be in bed from now until at least Tuesday morning.
Then, at this bridal shower today, my friend just goes on and on about how hard it is to be 38 weeks pregnant. Blah blah she has to pee all the time and eat all the time. You know, I realize that being 38 weeks pregnant must suck, but life can be so much worse. Don't think for two seconds I let her off the hook. Oh no, no, no. I will forever have the infertile mind. I made sure to tell her to be thankful she could walk. Be thankful she has a full term baby and I told her about girls who do over 100 days of bed rest just to keep their kids alive. I know, I know. . . what a downer. But it's reality, and it shut her negative ass up real quick. I hope I'm in her position some day.
So, tomorrow is the third full day of school and I won't be going. Luckily I have the best sub in the world and a very understanding principal. Taking time off already is very hard for me, but I know that resting is so important. My doctor had said 72 hours for every red bleed, but I'm not sure if I can do that this early in the year. That's one thing that teaching does to you. . . it gives you guilt.
Well, that's my update. I'll be in bed from now until at least Tuesday morning.
August 28, 2010
Day by Day
School has truly taken over. This week has been so busy. Though it wasn't a full week, I've come home and been more than exhausted! It's always hard to get back into the groove of things.
Things have been going really well. I know the RE told me that my bleed was getting much smaller, but I'm dying to know where it is now. I'm hoping my OB will allow me a first scan to see where it is. Other than that, we are just taking it day by day. Mr. Later Than Most is rather out of control lately. Starting this week he's been "baby this" and "baby that." It's really weird considering he doesn't want to tell anyone until 16 weeks. He did say something funny last night though. He goes, "Man, we really have a lot to buy. We should start shopping at 13 weeks." This was music to my recreational shopping ears! You see, I know Mr. Later Than Most very well. I have not mentioned any shopping, purchasing, or other baby ideas (well, partly because I'm still a little scared). I know that if I don't mention any of it to him, he eventually will think of it on his own and he loves his "own ideas." I guess this is a tiny form of manipulation but it's totally harmless!
As I mentioned, four ultrasounds later and I'm still nervous. Each day I wake up and think "am I still pregnant?" It's so dumb, but it's the damn infertility Devil. She still hangs around a bit, but she is definitely on her way out the door. I'll show her ass. I'm going to add a pregnancy ticker to my blog today. Take that witch!
Things are coming full circle for me today. It's my nieces first birthday. On this day last year I truly hit rock bottom. My sister had her second baby in the time that I couldn't come up with one. I remember how hard this day was for me. Now, one year later, today is a totally different story.
Life is good!
Things have been going really well. I know the RE told me that my bleed was getting much smaller, but I'm dying to know where it is now. I'm hoping my OB will allow me a first scan to see where it is. Other than that, we are just taking it day by day. Mr. Later Than Most is rather out of control lately. Starting this week he's been "baby this" and "baby that." It's really weird considering he doesn't want to tell anyone until 16 weeks. He did say something funny last night though. He goes, "Man, we really have a lot to buy. We should start shopping at 13 weeks." This was music to my recreational shopping ears! You see, I know Mr. Later Than Most very well. I have not mentioned any shopping, purchasing, or other baby ideas (well, partly because I'm still a little scared). I know that if I don't mention any of it to him, he eventually will think of it on his own and he loves his "own ideas." I guess this is a tiny form of manipulation but it's totally harmless!
As I mentioned, four ultrasounds later and I'm still nervous. Each day I wake up and think "am I still pregnant?" It's so dumb, but it's the damn infertility Devil. She still hangs around a bit, but she is definitely on her way out the door. I'll show her ass. I'm going to add a pregnancy ticker to my blog today. Take that witch!
Things are coming full circle for me today. It's my nieces first birthday. On this day last year I truly hit rock bottom. My sister had her second baby in the time that I couldn't come up with one. I remember how hard this day was for me. Now, one year later, today is a totally different story.
Life is good!
August 23, 2010
Another Graduation!
Today was a big day. . . graduation! Today's graduation was better than either of my Master's. Today I graduated from the reproductive endocrinologist. That's right, I'm normal! No more IVF clinic :) I had my last scan today and little Trouble is measuring 7w6d which is still one day ahead of the IVF calendar. So, my new EDD is April 5th. Also, the perigestational bleed is smaller than it was last week! Whoo hoo to that! Tomorrow I will receive the exact measurments, but the u/s tech was as happy as can be! I'm really going to miss her!
My first OB appointment is September 7th. That's two weeks from tomorrow. The wait will be very hard as I'm addicted to weekly ultrasounds. Although, this is the cost of being "normal." But seriously, I plan to have them scan me right away to check on that bleed. I'm really hoping it's gone by September 7th.
Here is Trouble's latest photo at 7w6d. Oh, and Mr. Later Than Most totally approves of the name :)
My first OB appointment is September 7th. That's two weeks from tomorrow. The wait will be very hard as I'm addicted to weekly ultrasounds. Although, this is the cost of being "normal." But seriously, I plan to have them scan me right away to check on that bleed. I'm really hoping it's gone by September 7th.
Here is Trouble's latest photo at 7w6d. Oh, and Mr. Later Than Most totally approves of the name :)
August 21, 2010
Kohl's: More Than You Bargained For
I need new school clothes. My bloat makes me look pregnant, so I'm on a mission to hide it. Of course Mr. Later Than Most thinks it's so cute and claims it's all baby and not bloat (boy, he really needs to read a baby book!). Actually, I love that he thinks that!
So I went to Kohl's as one of my stops. I figured I'll look for more flowy type tops so no one notices my stomach after lunch. I walked around and around and figured I would drop into the maternity section when I was done as a last resort. I know I don't need maternity clothes, but I've heard about those maternity pants that have a regular waist and those would be fab. Well, I was hit by a nice clearance when I went into the maternity section. I tried a bunch of stuff on (because it was so cheap) and duh, the stuff made me look pregnant. So, I did buy one denim maternity skirt because it was only $15 bucks and a denim skirt is good for all seasons of teaching.
After finding a couple of other items in the women's section, I made my way to the checkout. My cashier was kinda like Mrs. Rogers would be. I watched her thumb through my stuff. As she came to the maternity skirt, she eyed me up and down, looked at the inside tag, pointed to it and said, "Does this mean anything?" Um, huh? What what the heck was she talking about?
Me: Yea.
Cashier: Oh, when are you due?
Me: Not for a long time. April 6th.
Cashier: Oh, I think you should just tell people April 1st. (Wow, that's weird, but thanks?)
Me: (smiling and biting tongue)
Cashier: Can I give you some advice for when the little one is born?
Holy shit. I'm like 7 weeks pregnant and this lady is already planning the birth. I wanted to tell her that I'm just trying to make it to week 8, but what the heck am I going to say with a line full of people who are now eyeing me up and down?
Me: Sure.
Cashier: When your baby is born, go get the newspaper and seal it to preserve it. Also, collect all of the coins from that year and put them in a plastic box. Then, your child will have the news baby and some coins from their birth!
WOW! Now, that was very sweet of her of course, but really? LOL My friends know that I'm not good with unsolicited advice. I don't know why, it's like a personality flaw. I mean, if it's good advice then I love it, but normally it just rubs me the wrong way. In this instance, I just thought it was really interesting. I felt guilty enough buying a maternity skirt at 7 weeks. From now on, I will take my purchases to a male cashier. Men will not give parenting advice to a woman, right? LMAO
Gotta love Kohl's.
So I went to Kohl's as one of my stops. I figured I'll look for more flowy type tops so no one notices my stomach after lunch. I walked around and around and figured I would drop into the maternity section when I was done as a last resort. I know I don't need maternity clothes, but I've heard about those maternity pants that have a regular waist and those would be fab. Well, I was hit by a nice clearance when I went into the maternity section. I tried a bunch of stuff on (because it was so cheap) and duh, the stuff made me look pregnant. So, I did buy one denim maternity skirt because it was only $15 bucks and a denim skirt is good for all seasons of teaching.
After finding a couple of other items in the women's section, I made my way to the checkout. My cashier was kinda like Mrs. Rogers would be. I watched her thumb through my stuff. As she came to the maternity skirt, she eyed me up and down, looked at the inside tag, pointed to it and said, "Does this mean anything?" Um, huh? What what the heck was she talking about?
Me: Yea.
Cashier: Oh, when are you due?
Me: Not for a long time. April 6th.
Cashier: Oh, I think you should just tell people April 1st. (Wow, that's weird, but thanks?)
Me: (smiling and biting tongue)
Cashier: Can I give you some advice for when the little one is born?
Holy shit. I'm like 7 weeks pregnant and this lady is already planning the birth. I wanted to tell her that I'm just trying to make it to week 8, but what the heck am I going to say with a line full of people who are now eyeing me up and down?
Me: Sure.
Cashier: When your baby is born, go get the newspaper and seal it to preserve it. Also, collect all of the coins from that year and put them in a plastic box. Then, your child will have the news baby and some coins from their birth!
WOW! Now, that was very sweet of her of course, but really? LOL My friends know that I'm not good with unsolicited advice. I don't know why, it's like a personality flaw. I mean, if it's good advice then I love it, but normally it just rubs me the wrong way. In this instance, I just thought it was really interesting. I felt guilty enough buying a maternity skirt at 7 weeks. From now on, I will take my purchases to a male cashier. Men will not give parenting advice to a woman, right? LMAO
Gotta love Kohl's.
August 19, 2010
Moving Along
Wednesdays are a huge milestone to me. They mark the beginning of a new week of pregnancy. Yesterday I hit 7 weeks! That means seven weeks ago I had my retrieval for IVF. I can't believe how fast this time has gone by. I'll be honest, I'm that girl who wakes up every morning and thinks, "Oh, 7w1d today!" That's okay, I could be doing worse things.
As for symptoms, I don't feel I have many. I know it's early, but on some forums I'm reading about girls saying how sick they are and tired at 5 weeks. Okay, I'm a little grateful that's not me! For me, I have a couple things that are different than pre pregnancy. First, I have a taste for nothing. This is pretty common this early. I can't find anything I want to eat, but my stomach will be growling and needing something. Normally, if I just find something that might sound good, it settles well. The other thing I noticed is that I get hungry sooner than normal. Yesterday I had lunch at 1pm and was literally starving by 5pm. That was really odd to me. How in the world will I have lunch at 11:25 during the school year and then not get home until 5pm? I will for sure need to do some better grocery shopping! Oh, I also have a fun case of insomnia. This actually started before the 5 week mark. I toss and turn all night long and go between the couch and the bed. Sometimes I wake up at 3am and I'm just wide awake. Now, if I didn't feel so lazy, I may actually be productive at those 3am wakings! Now, laziness may not be the right word, I just have no energy. If anyone in my family read this, they would literally think this was not my blog. I have never had an energy problem. I am constantly on the go. Right now, I kind of just look at the things I would like to do, and I wave to them from the couch. This is no way to look like Heidi Klum after the baby comes. Oh well, I have until April anyway.
I feel like if I don't talk about "the bleed," then maybe it doesn't exist. But I'll bring it up to tell you that I'm going back to my acupuncturist tomorrow. I have not gone to him since my retrieval. I started going in March for several reasons. First, acupuncture is supposed to do wonders for infertility. Now, it won't get you pregnant, but it will help. So, I started going to support the infertility, and because I was totally stressed out. I mean, I seriously hit my max on stress. My only options for the stress to were to manage it or seriously start talking to a therapist. So, I found an acupuncturist in my town and decided to start there. I spilled everything out to him and he was confident he could help. I tell you, after that first appointment, I felt like a new person. I was less anxious and I felt relaxed. So, I started going regularly. Yesterday I emailed him to tell him that my IVF worked (whoo hoo), but I kinda have the SCH issue going on (which is now called a perigestational bleed per my IVF nurse). Well, good 'ole Jim thinks acupuncture can help with this. So, tomorrow I'm off to get acupuncture again. I hope to go once or twice a week to get this bleed out of here! I'll be sure to update how it goes!
Oh, and do let me know if it sounds like my list of symptoms sounds like complaining and not updating. I promised myself to never complain about pregnancy if I ever got pregnant, and I really plan to stick to that. So, if I ever get out of line, feel free to let me know:)
As for symptoms, I don't feel I have many. I know it's early, but on some forums I'm reading about girls saying how sick they are and tired at 5 weeks. Okay, I'm a little grateful that's not me! For me, I have a couple things that are different than pre pregnancy. First, I have a taste for nothing. This is pretty common this early. I can't find anything I want to eat, but my stomach will be growling and needing something. Normally, if I just find something that might sound good, it settles well. The other thing I noticed is that I get hungry sooner than normal. Yesterday I had lunch at 1pm and was literally starving by 5pm. That was really odd to me. How in the world will I have lunch at 11:25 during the school year and then not get home until 5pm? I will for sure need to do some better grocery shopping! Oh, I also have a fun case of insomnia. This actually started before the 5 week mark. I toss and turn all night long and go between the couch and the bed. Sometimes I wake up at 3am and I'm just wide awake. Now, if I didn't feel so lazy, I may actually be productive at those 3am wakings! Now, laziness may not be the right word, I just have no energy. If anyone in my family read this, they would literally think this was not my blog. I have never had an energy problem. I am constantly on the go. Right now, I kind of just look at the things I would like to do, and I wave to them from the couch. This is no way to look like Heidi Klum after the baby comes. Oh well, I have until April anyway.
I feel like if I don't talk about "the bleed," then maybe it doesn't exist. But I'll bring it up to tell you that I'm going back to my acupuncturist tomorrow. I have not gone to him since my retrieval. I started going in March for several reasons. First, acupuncture is supposed to do wonders for infertility. Now, it won't get you pregnant, but it will help. So, I started going to support the infertility, and because I was totally stressed out. I mean, I seriously hit my max on stress. My only options for the stress to were to manage it or seriously start talking to a therapist. So, I found an acupuncturist in my town and decided to start there. I spilled everything out to him and he was confident he could help. I tell you, after that first appointment, I felt like a new person. I was less anxious and I felt relaxed. So, I started going regularly. Yesterday I emailed him to tell him that my IVF worked (whoo hoo), but I kinda have the SCH issue going on (which is now called a perigestational bleed per my IVF nurse). Well, good 'ole Jim thinks acupuncture can help with this. So, tomorrow I'm off to get acupuncture again. I hope to go once or twice a week to get this bleed out of here! I'll be sure to update how it goes!
Oh, and do let me know if it sounds like my list of symptoms sounds like complaining and not updating. I promised myself to never complain about pregnancy if I ever got pregnant, and I really plan to stick to that. So, if I ever get out of line, feel free to let me know:)
August 16, 2010
Let's Talk About "Trouble"
So, I've talked about Heather before. She's my BFF from the TWW website. Yes, we've talked about finding internet friends before. If you don't have a friend in real life that you met online, then you are really missing out. I know it sounds creepy, but if women can find husbands on dating sites, why can't you find yourself some new friends on websites? All of my online friends are from TTC and pregnancy sites. I'm sure you are not surprised by that. Anyway- Heather and I decided that this little baby needed a name. Lots of people have cute names for their teeny embryos. Yes, I am aware that women normally do this with their husbands, but Mr. Later Than Most wasn't around for the texting. So, I decided that this LO was going to be named Trouble. Now, I know that sounds a little negative, but I think it's cute. . . especially after the whole bleeding crap that's been going on. It's so not the LO's fault at all, but I kinda like Trouble. Plus, Mr. Later Than Most is kinda trouble himself. ;)
Now for a real update! Today I had another u/s. This is u/s three in one week. Mind you, this is the ONE benefit of being an infertility patient. It is the only thing we get to brag about to those lucky preggers who get KU on the first try. In fact, on my message boards you'll hear girls say, "ZOMG, how am I going to wait until my 10th week for my first ultrasound?" Then, us infertility bitches come in with guns blazing, "Yeah, that must be hard. I've already had 5 ultrasounds and I'm only 7 weeks along!" ZING!!!! Again, this is all we have on them. And really, we don't do that, but it's better than their "How long did it take you get to preggo?" post that they love!
As I was saying, I went for an ultrasound today. My regular tech was there so I was excited to see her. Now, because I have an issue, I watch the tech like a hawk. If she doesn't speak within 60 seconds of moving the "magic wand" around, I'm ready to have a panic attack. Luckily, my experienced tech knows better. :) So, right away she tells me she sees the "peanut" and that the little heart is just beating away. She points the screen to me and is showing me how "great" everything looks. She obviously doesn't know what a Google whore I am, because right away I ask, "Do you see any bleeds?" She admits that she does, but she wants to focus on the baby first. Hmmmm, I know that trick. I do it at parent teacher conferences: good news first, not so good news second.
So after she tries desperately to use the 3-D machine to take a picture (omg, Trouble looked like a blob!), she points out the bleed. YEA, the bleed that was NOT there on Thursday. Damnit! She told me not to worry. It's a subchorionic bleed, which is common. Now I don't know what you consider common, but online it says like 5% of pregnancies. You know, since I'm already in that small infertility percent, I was kinda hoping I wouldn't be so "lucky" again. After my research I found that there is no explaination for SCH bleeds. It could be from implantation or not. Either way, the options are 1. it bleeds itself out 2. the body absorbs it 3. it causes some trouble. In worst case scenerio, it can cause miscarriage. Dr. Google says 1-3% miscarriage rate. So, that's where I'm at. I will go back to the RE on Monday for another scan, and I will also see my OB on that day. Scary stuff.
Right now I'm just relaxing. They told me over and over that I must take it easy. So, I'm doing just that. I'll stay on bedrest until Tuesday night. It's 72 hours for each bleed, and I had a teeny tiny bit on Saturday, so I'm counting that. Tomorrow my blood work will be in, so I'll talk to my IVF nurse and see what she says. Online I read that baby aspirin and progesterone can help rid bleeds, and I'm already on both. When you get bored, Google progesterone for my week of pregnancy. I'm off the charts at 107 at my last reading. That high of a number is normal found in the second trimester, so at least I have that going for me.
So, continue sending your thoughts and prayers. I'll take every one. For your viewing pleasure, I have two pictures of Trouble. I got smart and I put them on the light of my computer screen when taking a photo of them :) So, this is Trouble at 6w5d:
Trouble seems to be flying! It's the yolk sac:) The second u/s is the 3-D one
.jpg)
Now for a real update! Today I had another u/s. This is u/s three in one week. Mind you, this is the ONE benefit of being an infertility patient. It is the only thing we get to brag about to those lucky preggers who get KU on the first try. In fact, on my message boards you'll hear girls say, "ZOMG, how am I going to wait until my 10th week for my first ultrasound?" Then, us infertility bitches come in with guns blazing, "Yeah, that must be hard. I've already had 5 ultrasounds and I'm only 7 weeks along!" ZING!!!! Again, this is all we have on them. And really, we don't do that, but it's better than their "How long did it take you get to preggo?" post that they love!
As I was saying, I went for an ultrasound today. My regular tech was there so I was excited to see her. Now, because I have an issue, I watch the tech like a hawk. If she doesn't speak within 60 seconds of moving the "magic wand" around, I'm ready to have a panic attack. Luckily, my experienced tech knows better. :) So, right away she tells me she sees the "peanut" and that the little heart is just beating away. She points the screen to me and is showing me how "great" everything looks. She obviously doesn't know what a Google whore I am, because right away I ask, "Do you see any bleeds?" She admits that she does, but she wants to focus on the baby first. Hmmmm, I know that trick. I do it at parent teacher conferences: good news first, not so good news second.
So after she tries desperately to use the 3-D machine to take a picture (omg, Trouble looked like a blob!), she points out the bleed. YEA, the bleed that was NOT there on Thursday. Damnit! She told me not to worry. It's a subchorionic bleed, which is common. Now I don't know what you consider common, but online it says like 5% of pregnancies. You know, since I'm already in that small infertility percent, I was kinda hoping I wouldn't be so "lucky" again. After my research I found that there is no explaination for SCH bleeds. It could be from implantation or not. Either way, the options are 1. it bleeds itself out 2. the body absorbs it 3. it causes some trouble. In worst case scenerio, it can cause miscarriage. Dr. Google says 1-3% miscarriage rate. So, that's where I'm at. I will go back to the RE on Monday for another scan, and I will also see my OB on that day. Scary stuff.
Right now I'm just relaxing. They told me over and over that I must take it easy. So, I'm doing just that. I'll stay on bedrest until Tuesday night. It's 72 hours for each bleed, and I had a teeny tiny bit on Saturday, so I'm counting that. Tomorrow my blood work will be in, so I'll talk to my IVF nurse and see what she says. Online I read that baby aspirin and progesterone can help rid bleeds, and I'm already on both. When you get bored, Google progesterone for my week of pregnancy. I'm off the charts at 107 at my last reading. That high of a number is normal found in the second trimester, so at least I have that going for me.
So, continue sending your thoughts and prayers. I'll take every one. For your viewing pleasure, I have two pictures of Trouble. I got smart and I put them on the light of my computer screen when taking a photo of them :) So, this is Trouble at 6w5d:
Trouble seems to be flying! It's the yolk sac:) The second u/s is the 3-D one.jpg)
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